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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below gives information from a 2008 report about consumption of energy in the USA since 1980 with projections until 2030. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #report #consumption #energy #usa #projections #summaries #features #comparisons
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The line graph illustrates six different
energy
Use synonyms
 sources of
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 in the United States from 1980 and 2013, and projected
consumption
Use synonyms
 to 2030.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 petrol and oil are the domain
energy
Use synonyms
 sources and
expected
Add a missing verb
are expected
show examples
 to rise in the future.
By contrast
Linking Words
, hydropower, nuclear and solar/wind consume the lowest amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 from 1980 and
expected
Add a missing verb
are expected
show examples
 to hold steady in the coming years. The other two sources of
energy
Use synonyms
, coal and natural
gas
Use synonyms
, have similar
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
 over the period. In 1980,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petrol and oil was the main source of
energy
Use synonyms
 in the US, consuming 35
quadrillion
Change to a plural noun
quadrillions
show examples
 (
q
Use synonyms
) units.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
show examples
, there was a bit
fluctuation
Change preposition
of fluctuation
show examples
 from 1980 to 2000. But after that, the
consumption
Use synonyms
 increased
consistent
Change the word
consistently
show examples
 and is
assume
Wrong verb form
assumed
show examples
 to
inclined
Add a missing verb
be inclined
show examples
 to 45q in 2030.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other hand
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
, hydropower, nuclear and solar/wind was
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same level in 1980, which
lower
Add a missing verb
was lower
show examples
 than 5q. The use of Nuclear raised a bit to 5q after 1985. The other two
were slightly fluctuates
Change the verb form
were slightly fluctuated
were slightly fluctuating
show examples
 around 5q.
Overall
Linking Words
, all three flatten out the period in projection.
Consumption
Use synonyms
 of
energy
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 coal and natural
gas
Use synonyms
maintain
Change the verb form
maintains
show examples
 its
second
Linking Words
 and
third
Linking Words
 position throughout the period. In 1980, the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of coal (16q) is lower than natural
gas
Use synonyms
 (20q).
However
Linking Words
, coal increased its
consumption
Use synonyms
 in 1990 ,
then
Linking Words
 it plateaued for the
next
Linking Words
 5 years, after which, it started to ascend. It is predicted that the
consumed
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of coal may surpass natural
gas
Use synonyms
 in 2030,
add-up
Correct your spelling
add up
show examples
 to nearly 30q.
Submitted by leewunyi902 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, consumption, gas, q with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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