Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #products #world #development

In the era of globalization, people from different countries enable to buy

same merchandise

Suggestion

the same merchandise

. I think it is a positive development because it reduces the incidence of

crime

in the

world

, and more time can be allotted to certain merchandise according to the interest of people.

To begin

with, when people from all the nationalities and religions enable to purchase same artefacts,

crime

rate

such

as theft decreases. People feel a sense of inferiority when they see expensive things with others and

as a result

, they try to buy it or still it. When they do not have enough money to buy, they include themselves in major crimes

such

as theft or sometimes murder.

On the other hand

, since the general population from all over the

world

have enough money to spend and purchase national and international

stuff

personnel who assist their superior in carrying out an assigned task

staff

, they feel a sense of satisfaction and do not even think about crimes. According to the survey of The Sunday Times, the

crime

rate has been decreased to 60% as people have everything these days that they need.

Furthermore

, People buy the same products, so more time can be given to improve certain things in order to improve customer satisfaction. When the majority of the

world

population

show

Suggestion

shows

interest in the same products, people do not need to manufacture materials other than those. As they produce the same product over and over, they try to upgrade it to get ease in customers' life. One of the most popular examples is

Apple iPhone

Suggestion

the Apple iPhone

almost

Suggestion

Almost

everybody in the

world

owns the iPhone, so apple company upgrades phones constantly and launches a new model every year. In conclusion, the economic revolution is definitely beneficial because it plays a vital role in reducing

crime

from the

world

, and due to

this

, customers are able to get products upgraded with advanced technology.

Submitted by manp6699 on Tue Feb 04 2020

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
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Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

globalization
diversity
homogenization
cultural assimilation
global connection
local businesses
economic impact
consumerism
standardization
westernization

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Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

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