IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Old
age
 people in any part of the world need special
care
 and attention since they are unable to look after themselves. It's not only financial
support
 which they need; physical and emotional
support
 are equally important. In
this
 essay, I want to present my views to
support
 that the
government
 and individuals
themselves
people in general
they
 need to pay for their
care
 during old
age
. When it comes to an ideal world, old
age
 people can rely entirely on
government
 to
support
 them. But given the fact that the
government
 has to allocate funds to other critical areas like child education, infrastructure, etc., the
government
 alone cannot be burdened to pay the wholesome old
age
care
 cost.
Also
,
this
 is taxpayers' hard earned money and should be used judiciously. In my opinion, the cost should be distributed between the
government
 and the individuals. Everyone should save for their old
age
 or
retirement
 while they are earning. There can be specific item in the salary which can be deducted on every
paycheck
 which can be accumulated till
retirement
.
However
, in
such
 an arrangement as well, there can be cases where poor people would be unable to save for their old
age
. In that case, the
government
 can be held responsible for their
care
 when they are old. Many countries like India already have
such
 schemes for people to save for their
retirement
 or old
age
. Provident Fund money is a part of everyone's salary (ten percent of basic salary component) and is managed by Public Provident Fund
association
a formal organization of people or groups of people
Association
, which is in turn a
government
 organization. People are allowed to withdraw the amount upon
retirement
. To conclude, I believe that the cost for old
age
care
 should be borne by the
government
 and
people
Suggestion
the people
 themselves and distributed as deemed fit.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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