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Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies, but others think that students can learn more effectively in schools and with teachers. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #computer #internet #children #studies #students #schools #teachers
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In
Suggestion
During
 today's period, people think that the computer and the Internet are important in children's studies rather than simply learning in schools and with teachers, but
formar
Suggestion
the former
former
format
farmer
 has more drawbacks than latter.
Firstly
Linking Words
, every
child
Use synonyms
 learns more from teachers than the Internet. Schools are a very important part of a
child
Use synonyms
's life.
For example
Linking Words
, a
child
Use synonyms
 cannot learn basic concepts of science and maths through a computer without somebody present with them to help them understand. Learning through computers and internet at an early age might make them dependent on them
throught
all the way through
throughout
through
 their
life
Suggestion
lives
. In
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 case, teachers help them make a better person. They share their experiences and impart knowledge to a
child
Use synonyms
 in their own creative and unique way. Teachers can slow down and help you personally if you are struggling. Computers lack a personal touch which is important nowadays. In some
cases though
Accept comma addition
cases, though
, internet and computer are useful and effective. As we know, nowadays
internet
Suggestion
the internet
 is everywhere and is a necessity. A
children
Suggestion
child
 should know about them and how to operate it. But using them as
tool
Suggestion
a tool
tools
 for study is not the best approach. In some cases, through video chat or some online lessons, a
child
Use synonyms
 can benefit from it. They are
great secondary tool
Suggestion
a great secondary tool
great secondary tools
the great secondary tool
 for study in a
child
Use synonyms
's life.
However
Linking Words
, for me the most effective way of study is through school and teachers. Other than studies, there are a lot more extra-curricular and sports activities a student can benefit from.
Submitted by rshah9402 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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