The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#show #australian #school #leavers #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The given pie charts compare the activities

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Australian students after completing their graduation in three different years 1980,1990 and 2000. The given pie charts are divided

refring

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referring

three

catogeries

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categories

further

studies , jobs and those who left unemployed. Now

compariring

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comparing

the data in 1980 50

percent

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per cent

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of students continued their studies after graduation. The

percentage

decreased to 38% in 1990 and

slight

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a slight

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decline in 2000. 40% of the

graduates

started their career and get

job

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a job

the job

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but

number

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the number

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of employed

graduates

increased by

percentage

50% and 55% in 1990nand 2000 respectively.

However

Add a comma

,However

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after

graduation

Add a comma

,graduation

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10% remain jobless in 1980 the number of jobless

gradutaes

Correct your spelling

graduates

increased to 12% in 1990 and

then

value

Correct article usage

the value

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again decreased to 8% in 2000.

Overall

1980

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,1980

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graduates

preferred higher studies and in 2000

Correct article usage

a heigher

show examples

heigher

Correct your spelling

higher

percentage

of students

preffered

Correct your spelling

preferred

jobs the

percentage

of unemployed

graduates

maximum

Correct article usage

the maximum

show examples

in 1990.

Tue Feb 04 2020

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, graduates with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

143 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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