IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts show what Australian school leavers did immediately after leaving secondary school. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given pie charts compare the activities
Change preposition
of
show examples
Australian students after completing their graduation in three different years 1980,1990 and 2000. The given pie charts are divided
refring
Correct your spelling
referring
 three
catogeries
Correct your spelling
categories
further
Linking Words
 studies , jobs and those who left unemployed. Now
compariring
Correct your spelling
comparing
 the data in 1980 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of students continued their studies after graduation. The
percentage
Use synonyms
 decreased to 38% in 1990 and
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
 decline in 2000. 40% of the
graduates
Use synonyms
 started their career and get
job
Add an article
a job
the job
show examples
 but
number
Change the article
the number
show examples
 of employed
graduates
Use synonyms
 increased by
percentage
Use synonyms
 50% and 55% in 1990nand 2000 respectively.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 after
graduation
Add a comma
,graduation
show examples
 10% remain jobless in 1980 the number of jobless
gradutaes
Correct your spelling
graduates
 increased to 12% in 1990 and
then
Linking Words
value
Correct article usage
the value
show examples
 again decreased to 8% in 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
 in
1980
Add a comma
,1980
show examples
 more
graduates
Use synonyms
 preferred higher studies and in 2000
Correct article usage
a heigher
show examples
heigher
Correct your spelling
higher
percentage
Use synonyms
 of students
preffered
Correct your spelling
preferred
 jobs the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of unemployed
graduates
Use synonyms
 is
maximum
Correct article usage
the maximum
show examples
 in 1990.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, graduates with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: