IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Childhood obesity is a serious problem in many countries. What are the causes of it and how can the problem be managed?

As
obesity
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 is one of the major factors which
effects
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affects
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 the health of
the
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apply
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children
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Change preposition
at in
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in
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an
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 early age, it is considered
as
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apply
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a serious problem across many countries.
This
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 essay will discuss the reasons
of
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for
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obesity
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 and the solution to overcome
this
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 problem. There are two main reasons
of
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for
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obesity
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: excessive
burden
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 of study and lack of nutrition in
food
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.
Firstly
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, the students are suffering from
excessive
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an excessive
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burden
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 of study and they
did
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do
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 not get the
time
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 to play outdoor games.
For example
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, when a kid, who was
school going
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school-going
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, came back they
have
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had
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 to complete their homework
as well as
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 other assignments and
attends
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attend
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 tuition classes, so they
find
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found
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 less
time
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 for extracurricular outdoor activities like cricket, football, badminton and so on. So, it could be said that
Correct article usage
the
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excessive
burden
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 of study is considered as one of the major causes of
obesity
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 in childhood.
Secondly
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, the
food
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 we are feeding to our kids is not properly filled with nutrition; the parents are mostly providing fast
food
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 or packet foods to their
children
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 when they feel hungry.
For example
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, during
evening
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the evening
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time
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 the kids feel hungry and ask for
some
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a
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 meal at that
time
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 the parents
had been providing
Wrong verb form
provide
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 fast
food
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such
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 as Maggi, Noodles, burgers and so on. Lack of nutrition in the
food
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 is the main reason behind
obesity
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.
However
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, the above problem is solved by taking several measures. The parents and the teachers must take care of the excessive
burden
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 they are putting on
children
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in
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at
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 too early
age
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an age
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 in terms of pressure to score high marks and to provide
minimal
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a minimal
the minimal
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 amount of homework and assignments and so on. Simultaneously, the parent should
also
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 be aware of the
super foods
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superfoods
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 and homemade meals so that they can provide a wholesome, nutritious and homemade meal to their
children
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 whenever they feel hungry.

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dietary habits
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Processed foods
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Nutritional education
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Preventative measures
  • Health policies
  • Urban planning
  • Caloric intake
  • Metabolic health
  • Screen time
  • Physical activity
  • Junk food
  • Food desert
  • Body mass index (BMI)
  • Portion control
  • Mindful eating
  • Lifestyle diseases
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