IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some parents encourage their high school students to get an after-school or weekend job. Other parents cite the importance of getting good grades, discouraging their high school students from getting after- school or weekend jobs. What is your opinion or viewpoint on this subject? Use specific supporting details from your own observations, experience, or reading as you write your response

#parents #school #students #weekend #job #importance #grades #after- #jobs
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are differing viewpoints as to whether or not high
school
Use synonyms
 students should get an after-
school
Use synonyms
 or weekend
job
Use synonyms
. Some parents want their high
school
Use synonyms
-aged students to
work
Use synonyms
 part-
time
Use synonyms
, while other parents prefer their students
to only focus
Suggestion
only focus
 on getting good grades. In my opinion, working while attending high
school
Use synonyms
 can be beneficial because it provides the student with the essential skills that are needed for today’s
job
Use synonyms
 market. One of the essential skills is
time
Use synonyms
 management. Learning ways to balance activities and prioritize
time
Use synonyms
 is essential as an adult. Using
time
Use synonyms
 effectively requires life experiences.
For instance
Linking Words
, I learned to manage my
time
Use synonyms
 wisely when I worked a part-
time
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 in high
school
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
. The
work
Use synonyms
 experience I gained at that
time
Use synonyms
 was particularly helpful in my future life. If I did not
work
Use synonyms
 while attending high
school
Use synonyms
, I wouldn’t have learned the
time
Use synonyms
 management skills used today: to balance graduate
school
Use synonyms
,
work
Use synonyms
, and social activities. Another benefit after
school
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 is that high
school
Use synonyms
 students strengthen their interpersonal skills within the workplace.
Although
Linking Words
 students have the opportunity to socialize in
school
Use synonyms
 with their peers, interactions in the workplace are entirely different. Working a part-
time
Use synonyms
job
Use synonyms
 can increase students’ opportunities to meet different people.
As a result
Linking Words
, students develop better interpersonal relationships and increase their success in
school
Use synonyms
.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, these jobs will help students to develop a strong
work
Use synonyms
 ethic, and
this
Linking Words
 attitude could apply to complete their academic works. Understanding the importance of hard
work
Use synonyms
 and being a responsible person are critical skills for an adult.
Work
Use synonyms
 ethic is an abstract concept, and it is an excellent asset for a competent person.
Additionally
Linking Words
, if students develop a positive
work
Use synonyms
 ethic, they will become more confident. Academic success largely depends on
this
Linking Words
 type of confidence. The world has become more competitive. Having students gain
work
Use synonyms
 experiences at an early age will strengthen their abilities to compete in the
job
Use synonyms
 market after graduation.
For example
Linking Words
, students can learn to utilize their
time
Use synonyms
 better, improve their social skills, and become a valuable member of society.
Submitted by cherry0704 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: