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Band 4.5

In many countries women no longer feel the need to get married. Some people believe that this is because women are able to earn on their own income and therefore do not require the financial security marriage can bring. To what extent do you agree?

#countries #women #people #income #security #marriage
Marriage is
very vital bond
Suggestion
a very vital bond
the very vital bond
 between two souls.
in
Suggestion
In
this
 modern era, a man has progressed from working barefooted in the jungle to take
first step
Suggestion
the first step
 on the Moon.
Nevertheless
, there
are
Suggestion
is
 some issue which
remain
Suggestion
remains
irrovacable
incapable of being retracted or revoked
irrevocable
 and as complex as ever. The given topic asserts that, woman who earned money; should not get married. I shall explore the same by various aspects in upcoming paragraph.
To begin
 with, there is a group of people who believe that,
womens
an adult female person (as opposed to a man)
women
 no number feel any need to get married.
Firstly
, they
convincing
Suggestion
are convinced
are convincing
convince
 their viewpoint by claiming that, woman lost their trust from married
life
, because of domestic violence. Dowry system is the main reason behind
this
 action. Girls are scolded and get ill-treated by their 'in laws'.
This
 is proved by a survey conducted by
Indian government
Suggestion
the Indian government
 that, most of the
womens
an adult female person (as opposed to a man)
women
 are mentally upset after getting married. They
do not allowed
Suggestion
do not allow
 to communicate with friends.
This
 is all because of
pressure
Suggestion
the pressure
 imposed by the 'in laws'.
Furthermore
, females
also
 believe that, after marriage, their dreams would be
vanished
expel from a community or group
banished
. They never achieved their goals which they
makes
Suggestion
make
 in their
life
.
Moreover
, they have to be totally dedicated to their family and children as well. They would not have any time to spend with their parents. From another aspect, they are now well educated and doing well jobs equally as male.
t
Suggestion
T
 They
also
 have similar opportunities for employment. Now, they are eligible to make
good
Suggestion
a good
 earning, and
also
, more self confident.
That is
 why they feel reluctance, when
question
Suggestion
the question
a question
 arises on getting married. While, in earlier time,
womens
an adult female person (as opposed to a man)
women
 were not educated as today, and they
must had
Suggestion
must have
 to depend on their
life
 partner. But, now nothing is happening like
this
. To recapitulate, we can see that, there are
number
Suggestion
a number
 of answers to
this
 question. On balance,
however
,
womens have
Suggestion
women shave
 their own
life
. No one has any right to pressurise them for getting married. It should be their own choice. So that, they never regret on their decision in their whole
life
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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