IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people believe that children leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are complete waste of time .do you agree or disagree

#people #children #leisure #activities #waste #time
Idle hours of the kids are considered to be more academic by few individuals, or else they treat that time as useless. I completely disagree with
this
 statement, in my opinion, free time is never useless.
This
 essay I am going to provide reasons for the same.
Firstly
, children should enhance their academic skills to succeed in their career.
However
, kids not only need advancement in their studies, but
also
 they should acquire other talents
such
 as cognitive intelligence and motor skills.
Therefore
, if the children are forced to concentrate on the scholastic education only,
then
 they will certainly diminish in their physical and mental growth.
For instance
, In a recent survey conducted at Canadian House, revealed astonishing facts about the general IQ in kids. It was diminished by 10 percent every year.
Secondly
, extracurricular activities are crucial for the kids in order to keep them fit in terms of physical and mental aspects.
Otherwise
, they will be over-stressed and could get prone to various health issues.I have seen one
such
 incident recently in my home town, where 3 years old kid was admitted to hospital due to overload at school. Later, school-authorities were questioned regarding the same by the Law. In conclusion, I strongly believe that adequate amount of leisure time should be granted to the children always.
This
 change will certainly nurture the kid physically as well as mentally.Eventually, it leads to the their development positively in all the aspects of life.Ultimately,
this
 enhances the growth of the nation too.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: