IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People tend to work longer hours nowadays. Working long hours has a negative effect on themselves, their families and the society so working hours should be restricted. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #work #hours #effect #families #society
Nowadays, working longer hours has been receiving a great deal of public attention.
Although
,
this
 trend appears attractive, the disadvantages will be far more significant. There are severe impact on the employees' health and productivity.
First
, since average daily working hours in recent years have significantly increased to ten or even fourteen hours per day, modern workers would have less
time
 to take care for their own condition. In fact, people who spend longer at
work
 are more likely to suffer from various health issues, which leads to disastrous issues like anxiety disorders or even stroke.
Second
, by working much more than eight hours on a daily basis, the employees may frequently feel exhausted and make more errors at
work
 than they used to.
This
 means that, failing health due to overwork could result in poor
work
 performance and low productivity. I
also
 think that the extended hours of
work
 have serious consequences for families and communities. At the family level, if family members cannot make
time
 for each other, relationships among them are greatly weakened.
For example
, busy prevent parents from taking frequent family trips or even just having meals with their children, which could make the generation gaps be widened unexpectedly. In terms of community life, in order to develop their career, many people in large metropolis
work
 more than sixty hours per week. They hardly have
time
 for local community service projects
such
 as conservation
work
 or working with a charity,
therefore
, these people do not devote
time
 to voluntary activity that brings benefits for their society. In conclusion, I would argue that working
time
 should be reduced since the frequency of long working hours exerts an adverse effect on employees, their family bonds and their community.
Submitted by nvduyen1225 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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