Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries should provide poorer ones with humanitarian assistance during
disasters
that
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
show examples
by nature.
This
essay agrees with
this
statement because it is a moral and human duty towards needy people, and
this
help might avoid the side effects of
disasters
. Providing help by developed nations to underdeveloped ones which have natural catastrophes, is a human issue.
In other words
, when a damaged country is provided with proper assistance,
as a result
, it will have the chance to rebuild its country again after the disaster is over.
Furthermore
,
this
help might have increased the opportunity to be a better society, so the world will become more peaceful and
harmony
Replace the word
harmonious
show examples
in order that it belongs to a family of humanity. A recent study found that the number of natural
disasters
would have decreased by 50 per cent when urgent help
has
Verb problem
was
show examples
provided. ​ Assisting poor countries who have natural
disasters
by rich nations,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
might have lessened the side effects of it. To put it another way,
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
urgent help to those needy people will save a lot of lives and decrease the level of danger that would have affected the environment and important fields of the country
such
as the health, education and transportation sectors.
In addition
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
providing them with first-aid medicines and
supply
Correct article usage
a supply
show examples
of food is an essential way to avoid a tragic increase in the number of victims.
This
is shown by a renowned magazine
illustrated
Wrong verb form
illustrating
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that the proportion of affected people
Correct pronoun usage
who are
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are
Change the verb form
is
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supplied with hasty help in damaged areas,
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
increased their chances of living by 80 per cent. ​ In conclusion, rich nations should supply poor countries who
damaged
Add a missing verb
are damaged
show examples
by natural
catastrophe
Fix the agreement mistake
catastrophes
show examples
with
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
appropriate help because it is literally a human and ethnic deed towards persons who
affected
Add a missing verb
are affected
show examples
by a tragedy, in turn,
this
help will ultimately lead to
lower
Correct article usage
a lower
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
percentage of danger.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
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