You and your family are living in rented accommodation in an English speaking country. You are not satisfied with the condition of some of the furniture. Write a letter to your landlord. In your letter introduce yourself explain what is wrong with the furniture say what action you would like the landlord to take

Dear
Mr.
Change the punctuation
Mr

The abbreviated title Mr. seems to be punctuated incorrectly. Consider changing the punctuation.

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Smith, I am writing
this
letter to talk about a series of problems that make
impossible
Correct pronoun usage
it impossible

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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to spend other days of our holidays here. I am Sahar, who talked to you
for
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about

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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short- term rental
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of you

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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you
Correct pronoun usage
your

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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apartment
last
week. I visited the advertisement
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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your home when I was surfing on
net
Add an article
the net

The noun phrase net seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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to find suitable accommodation for my family that are coming from Iran to spend their holiday here with me. After I paid the cost of renting by my internet bank account, I took the keys
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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home
Correct article usage
the home

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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from
home
Add an article
the home
a home

The noun phrase home agency seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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agency. It is only a week that we have been living here but there are several
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems

The singular countable noun problem follows the quantifier several, which requires a plural noun. Consider using a plural noun or a different quantifier.

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about
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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furniture
Correct article usage
the furniture

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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.
First
and foremost, the furniture is out of
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outdated

The word dated doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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dated
Correct your spelling
date

The word dated doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and very messy so that we are disinclined to use them.
Secondly
, the electrician utilities
such
as wireless telephone and television are mostly down. The
last
but not least, the living room is very dingy. The walls and windows need renovating and painting. Due to reasons I mentioned above, we are reluctant to stay here for
residue
Add an article
the residue

The noun phrase residue seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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of my family's holiday and we decided to move on more comfortable accommodation, So I want the full refund of the amount paid. Dealing in mind the circumstance I trust you will kindly accept my request. I am waiting for your response.
your
Replace the word
you're
you are

It appears that the possessive pronoun your should be a contraction instead. Consider changing it.

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sincerely, Sahar
Submitted by sahar.masoumali on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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