In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

#countries #people #ages #place #emphasis #sports #development

There is no iota of doubt that, people today are very careful about their health and career, so

they

of them or themselves

their

emphasis on sports and

exercise

this

Suggestion

This

phenomenon is offering multifarious benefits to people of all ages.

however

Suggestion

However

, sometimes a couple of

problem

Suggestion

problems

emerges

Suggestion

emerge

due to the same. In my opinion, it is a positive development in some extent, beyond

this

it can be negative. The following paragraphs would shed light on

pros

Suggestion

the pros

and cons of

this

trend.

To begin

with the bright side,

first

, doing extra effort on sports and

exercise

we can produce more athletes.

Therefore

, these athletes can bring more pride for our nation.

For example

recent survey

Suggestion

a recent survey

recent surveys

says that, in Australia players who put more emphasis on their own field bring gold medals

Suggestion

Olympic.

As a result

, by putting more effort people can achieve their own goals in the field of sports.

In addition

, due to sedentary jobs and lack of physical activities, people are suffering from obesity.

hence

(used to introduce a logical conclusion) from that fact or reason or as a result

Hence

, with regular

exercise

and sports they can easily overcome

this

problem.

Moreover

, these activities can make people

more socialize and

Suggestion

socialize more and

friendly

Suggestion

friendlier

to a very great extent or degree

, people can make and meet more friends due to these activities. On the flip side of the coin, there are a handful of nasty consequences as well.

Firstly

, to give extra importance in sports and

exercise

will affect one's social, personal as well as corporate life.

this

Suggestion

This

means, a person can feel alone when he is away from their family.

For instance

, cricket player playing foreign tours

have

Suggestion

has

to stay months away from their home,

this

can feel them lonely and sometimes affect their performance.

Suggestion

can steer him into the stage of depression and might cause harm to his life.

Furthermore

, these activities require a plethora of physical strength to play effectively with other teams and everybody is not strong enough for those.

this

Suggestion

This

may

further

de-motivate individuals and they may decide not to take part in challenging competitions. In conclusion, I personally believe that the de-merit

outweigh

Suggestion

outweighs

merits,

however

effort

Suggestion

an effort

should be made to minimize the latter one.

Sun Feb 09 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Download Free PDF
11 Most Commonly Used English Expressions »

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.
In this modernized era, learning can be accessible in many ways. Some people believe that online learning materials are effective for children, while others argue that paper-based platforms are the best way to learn. I agree that going back to the traditional way of learning using printed reading materials is the best and safest learning platform for children.
4.5
band
A friend has agreed to look after your six year old son, house and pet while you are working abroad for two weeks. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • give instructions about your son with his everyday school routine • give instructions about how to care for your pet • give instructions about other household duties Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses. Begin your letter as follows: Dear .....................,
I do appreciate that you are looking after my son , my house and my pet while I an away.
7.5
band
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
In certain nations, adults often tell their children that as long as you work hard enough, you can get what you want. It is argued that whether it brings benefits or disasters, I will explore both sides in the following essay.
<4
band
The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of people visiting cinemas on seven different days in a week in one European country.
5
band
a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems is is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that benefist of tourism outweight its drawbacks?
Over the years, many countries depend on tourism industries as their major income. A robust growth of traveling activities brings various benefits, particularly in the economic sector. However, negative impacts of the tourism business have to be considered seriously.

In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some people believe online materials should only be used for children to learn to read. while other believe only printed reading materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

The bar shows the percentage of people going to cinemas in one European country on different days.

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems is is not managed correctly. describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. do you think that benefist of tourism outweight its drawbacks?