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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many offenders commit more crimes after serving the first punishment. Why is this happening, and what measures can be taken to tackle this problem?

#offenders #crimes #first #punishment #measures
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It is argued that people who use their own vehicles should be heavily taxed so that
public transportation system
Suggestion
the public transportation system
 can be developed from the
tax
money
.
However
, there are some benefits and drawbacks to
such
 a trend that need to be considered.
Firstly
, the number of vehicles that enter urban areas may be reduced due to the high taxation on private car owners.
In other words
, the imposed fines may not be affordable to people because they
have already been paying
Suggestion
have already paid
were already paid
 a considerable amount of
money
 for fuel and the maintenance of their cars.
As a result
 of
this
, it may prevent / discourage / stop) people from using private cars and they might seek alternative modes of transportation.
Secondly
, it is known that many public
transport
 services in the country are in poor condition due to the lack of financial resources.
Therefore
, imposing
tax
 on private car users could be a way for governments to earn some
money
 and invest it for upgrading public
transport
 services.
Consequently
, people will not hesitate to travel by buses or trains any more.
On the other hand
, there are some negative outcomes
to
Suggestion
of
this
 approach. Imposing unreasonable fines on its citizens can lead to disputes between the authorities and the general public.
In addition
, there are many countries which are underdeveloped and have
low
Suggestion
lower
 personal incomes and
tax
 on private vehicles will put them in more financial difficulties. In
this
 regard, people get disappointed and they may conduct strikes or protests which may be harmful for the country’s economy.
Moreover
, it is for people to decide whether they should use private cars or public
transport
 for commuting even though those services are in greater condition. In conclusion, it is true that imposing heavy taxes on private car owners and using that
tax
money
 to develop the public
transport
 system definitely have some positive outcomes.
However
, there are some disadvantages to
this
 phenomenon that need to be considered.
Submitted by ahsanshakil13 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • recidivism
  • rehabilitation programs
  • social stigma
  • ex-convicts
  • reintegration
  • support systems
  • mental health issues
  • addiction problems
  • criminal networks
  • incarceration
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