IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones?

You should spend about 40 minutes on
this
Linking Words
 task. Write about the following topic: The increase in mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile
phones
Use synonyms
? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words. Type in words from the text and click on 'Guess' or press ENTER. (Score +1 per correct word) Click on any gap to see the word. (Score -1 per word) You may want to see the text before you start. (Score -10 to see the text) Benefits and disadvantages of mobile
phones
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 In our
Use synonyms
day to
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
day
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 life
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have a significant role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the communication between
people
Use synonyms
 and their
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
. Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 not only for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
phone
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 calls. One of the main advantages
through
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 mobile
phone
Use synonyms
 is social networking is much faster and easier.
Also
Linking Words
, can use it all other technical
purpose
Change the wording
purposes
show examples
 like taking photographs, banking, gaming, travelling
purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
show examples
 etc. There is some disadvantage
Linking Words
while
Change preposition
to
show examples
 using mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. Emitting radiation from mobile
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
makes
Verb problem
creates
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
critical medical and health
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 for human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
. Some of the medical research
state
Correct subject-verb agreement
states
show examples
 that these radiations cause several kinds of cancer in
human
Add an article
the human
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 body
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
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 chance to affect
badly
Rephrase
apply
show examples
to human reproduction system. Another main concern about the mobile is to distract the personal relationship. In
present
Add an article
the present
show examples
day
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
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 do not want to spend time with family, and they always keep scrolling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
. Some
people
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 are looking for new unhealthy relationships and it
makes
Verb problem
has
show examples
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 trusted
relation
Replace the word
relationships
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. Children spend more time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
phones
Use synonyms
 rather than studying cause
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 impact on their education carer. Mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 are strictly prohibited
while
Linking Words
 driving because
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause
show examples
 accidents on the roads. In film
theatre
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theatres
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 and cinemas
requesting
Verb problem
apply
show examples
users to switch their
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 to off or silent.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in some
points
Add a comma
points,
show examples
 mobile
phones
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 have some drawbacks but it gives huge
helps
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help
bits of help
show examples
 for human's
day
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 to
day
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 life. So,
people
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 use it for the good aspect rather than wasting their time and it
ensure
Change the verb form
ensures
show examples
 great advantage
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their life.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • cyberbullying
  • screen time
  • data privacy
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • eye strain
  • sleep disorders
  • chronic issues
  • productivity
  • notifications
  • validation
  • self-esteem
What to do next:
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