IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

In the past, important knowledge of culture and history was stored in museum. Nowadays information is freely available on internet, therefore is no longer need for museum. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#culture #history #museum #information #internet
Before,
museum
Suggestion
the museum
 was the place where the important
information
of
Suggestion
about
on
 the culture and history kept. In these days, it becomes so easy to access all that
information
in
Suggestion
on
 the
internet
.
Moreover
, some people think that there is no benefit of
museum
Suggestion
the museum
. I totally disagree.
First
 of all, I believe that the
internet
 is enough to get
information
 about the history and culture from, rather than
museum
Suggestion
a museum
. One key benefit is that no matter where someone is, he can search and get
information
.
For example
, there
are
Suggestion
is
 some historical stuff are kept in a famous
museum
 in France, and it is not easy for everybody to travel to France and see them.
However
, anyone can still see it and get all the
information
 from the
internet
, regardless of where someone is. That's why the
internet
 is more important and an easy way to be familiar with the past,
in stead
in place of, or as an alternative to
instead
 of museums.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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