IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

what are the advantages and disadvantages of changing your career?

#career
Changing the
career
 is often a big challenge for everyone because it may effect on your life and would influence your goals directly.
in
Suggestion
In
 my opinion trying a new
career
 has both advantages and disadvantages that depending on the
situation one
Accept comma addition
situation, one
 of them may overweigh the other.
This
 essay refers to some of these pros and cons. Let’s start by looking at the advantages of changing
career
. When you take a new
job
, you get
this
 chance to evaluate your skills in another situation that may
leads
Suggestion
lead
 to positive results like better workplace, higher wage, easy commuting and other
facilites
a building or place that provides a particular service or is used for a particular industry
facilities
.
in
Suggestion
In
 other words, if you
fiirst
preceding all others in time or space or degree
first
 consider all aspects and differences between your current
job
 and the new one and after that decide wisely, changing your
career
 would be a positive evolution. Another major advantage of changing your
job
 is that in new position with new colleagues you would have new experiences and attitude.
This
 alteration may influence your way of thinking and cause your progress.
Therefore if
Accept comma addition
Therefore, if
 you are a risky person, changing your
career
 would be a pleasant decision.
turning
Suggestion
Turning
 to the other side of the argument, in some cases changing the
career
 would have negative
concequences
a phenomenon that follows and is caused by some previous phenomenon
consequences
.
for
Suggestion
For
example if
Accept comma addition
example, if
 you are
skillful
having or showing knowledge and skill and aptitude
skilful
 in a
job
 and have experience in that field for years, changing your
career
 to another
job
 with no knowledge about it, just because of higher income, often cause
regretion
a disposition to behave aggressively
aggression
.
because
Suggestion
Because
 you don’t have enough information about its different sides and
this
 will be an unfair
compare
Suggestion
comparison
.On the whole, lack of knowledge in new
job
 would cause irreparable failure. Another drawback is that shifting to new position with
new rules
Suggestion
the new rules
 is
mostly
Suggestion
most
 difficult, and takes a long period to get used to.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 if you are not flexible, you may have lots of problems in
new situation
Suggestion
new situations
a new situation
the new situation
.
cosequently for
Accept comma addition
Consequently, for
Consequently for
Cosequently for
 moody or impatient people, changing
career
 is not a good idea. To conclude, accepting the risk of changing
career
 would have positive and negative outcome that depends on your knowledge and personality.
Submitted by e.kermanifar on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: