IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Playing a game is fun only when you win. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#game #fun #support
Generally speaking, playing games is an essential part of our life. Nowadays the majority of people play games to eliminate stress and leave their troubles behind.
However
, some people play games only for the
victory
. As far as I concerned, playing games is an enjoyable activity.
Thus
, I disagree with the statement that
it is fun only
Suggestion
it is only fun
 when you win. So, there are two core reasons to improve my decision.
First
 of all, people must realize the main reason for playing a
game
. In the past, people gathered and played different kinds of games. It was a great support to communicate and find out more about each other.
Moreover
, playing games is beneficial for obtaining knowledge and experience. It does not matter who wins, it is necessary to make conclusions and to
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 one’s mistakes. To clarify, many years ago I was engaged in chess lessons. Thanks to it I acquired a lot of skills of communication, made new friends and started to think logically. And
as a result
, playing a
game
, in that case, has taught me that it is more important to get experience and friends than to win.
Last
 but not least, playing a
game
 is profitable for a person’s mental development.
Besides
 it, physical development has its importance. It is a cheerful chance to strengthen bones, muscles and become more flexible.
Additionally
, it is good for a person’s health. As we know health is the most worthwhile thing in our life and we must do almost everything to improve it.
For instance
, my brother is a football player. Sometimes he says that paying attention to the
victory
 is not valuable at all. A person must make benefits for himself and use it effectively.
Therefore
, according to my brother’s example, it became clear to me that apart from the
victory
 playing a
game
 is useful for the person. To sum up, playing a
game
 is a pleasurable thing. People do it for many purposes, like to become a developed and healthy person. To me, participation is more fundamental than the
victory
 itself. Taking into account these qualities, playing a
game
 is not fun only when you win, it is crucial when you play it beneficially.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: