IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the number of hours each teacherspent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001.

The bar chart below shows the number of hours each teacherspent teaching in different schools in four different countries in 2001.
#bar #hours #teacherspent #schools #four #countries
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
Linking Words
 bar chart displays the working
hours
Use synonyms
 of
teachers
Use synonyms
 from different types of
schools
Use synonyms
 in four different countries in the year
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
2001.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 graph compares Japan, Spain, Iceland and the
USA
Use synonyms
 regarding how many
hours
Use synonyms
teachers
Use synonyms
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their job in primary
schools
Use synonyms
, lower secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 or
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
upper secondary
schools
Use synonyms
. There you can see the general trend to
work
Use synonyms
 longer the higher the educational institute.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
USA
Use synonyms
 works the longest compared to the other three countries. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the rise of working
hours
Use synonyms
 depending on the height of education, you always see
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
significant growth from one
school
Use synonyms
 to the
next
Linking Words
 one, varying between 20 to 300
hours
Use synonyms
. In Iceland,
teachers
Use synonyms
 in primary
school
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for about 580
hours
Use synonyms
,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
 only
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 20 more, but the growth
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 upper secondary
school
Use synonyms
 is dramatic
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
teachers
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 for about 900
hours
Use synonyms
. Unlike Island, the rise of
hours
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
 is steady. Primary
school
Use synonyms
teachers
Use synonyms
 in the
USA
Use synonyms
work
Use synonyms
 about 750
hours
Use synonyms
, in lower secondary
school
Use synonyms
 they spend 1000
hours
Use synonyms
 working and they arrive
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 peak with their
teachers
Use synonyms
 in the upper secondary
schools
Use synonyms
 with almost 1200
hours
Use synonyms
 at occupation.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is the country which has the most hard-working
teachers
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by hannah.s on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hours, teachers, schools, usa, work, school with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compares" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: