IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows how elderly people in the United States spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#people #states #time #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The illustration below on how
senior
Add an article
a senior’s
show examples
’s
 in the united states of America
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 able to use their
vacant
Replace the word
vacation
show examples
 time
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
Correct article usage
the 1980’s
show examples
1980
Fix apostrophe usage
1980s
show examples
’s
 to
2010
Change noun form
2010s
show examples
’s
. The relevance of
this
 data is to provide a clearer understanding of how
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
 used their available time in maintaining their physiological, psychological,
social
Correct word choice
and social
show examples
 life balance, where
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 being must be
taking
Change the form of the verb
taken
show examples
cared
Replace the word
care
show examples
 of. Watching TV during the early years is very common
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 every individual just stays at home,
relax
Wrong verb form
relaxing
show examples
while
 eating popcorn rather than going outside and
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
 some money for the ride and theatre fee. Just
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good weather and a pair of shoes can help in maintaining good health for that individual who wanted to pursue hiking as part of their daily routine and exercise. As
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time goes by, hiking has been
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 major activity
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the elderly that constantly increased until 2020.
On the other hand
, reading is one of the past times since Surfing the internet during
Correct article usage
the 1980’s
show examples
1980
Fix apostrophe usage
1980s
show examples
’s
 is not that applicable, it is
frequently
Change the word
frequent
show examples
, and
individual
Change the adjective
individually
show examples
 engaged to use during
2000
Fix apostrophe usage
2000s
show examples
’s
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 reading decreased by 20%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the first paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words ’s with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the first paragraph.
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