IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some countries, criminal trials are shown on the television for the public. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent times, many countries have started a practice
to broadcast
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of broadcasting
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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criminal cases on television for their citizens.
This
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 essay will discuss
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 merits and myriad demerits of the above notion in the following paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, the positive effects of conducting
the
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apply
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criminal trials
on
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in
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media
Correct article usage
the media
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 that it brings great awareness to
the
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apply
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society about the different
offences
Use synonyms
done
Verb problem
committed
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 in
present
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the present
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 times.
This
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 awareness motivates
the
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apply
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people to take some preventive steps to protect their families.
For instance
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, the gang-rape in Delhi had
awaken
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awakened
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whole
Correct article usage
the whole
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 nation
and
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, and
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 since
then
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, the parents have followed more preventive steps to protect their daughters.
Moreover
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, the trials on
the
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apply
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television render good examples to the public by
stringent
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imposing stringent
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 punishment
to
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on
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 the culprits, so that in future, the number of potential
offences
Use synonyms
 will decline.
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Thus
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Thus,
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 the criminal
trails
Use the right word
trials
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 in public would not only spread awareness but
also
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 minimise the rate of crime in the future.
On the other hand
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,
such
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 a practice might cause detrimental effects on
the
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apply
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society.
Firstly
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, the adolescents, who might watch
such
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 a trial on
TV
Punctuation problem
TV,
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 would have a negative impact on their psychology.
As a result
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, they might
influence
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be influenced
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 by
such
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offences
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, and
trying
Wrong verb form
try
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 to imitate
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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.
Secondly
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, in many criminal cases, the name of a victim must
have to keep
Wrong verb form
be kept
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 confidential for their security of social prestige.
For example
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, a rape victim’s name should not be disclosed in public.
Although
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,
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apply
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 the trial of
crime
Correct article usage
a crime
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 is shown in public
the
Punctuation problem
, the
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 identity of the victim
could not
Wrong verb form
cannot
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 be protected.
Lastly
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, in some cases, a person is falsely accused of victim to get revenge. In
such
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 a case,
it
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if
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 the trial is done in public, the social reputation of that person will
ruin
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be ruined
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.
Thus
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, the legislation and its implementation should not be conducted by showing on TV. In conclusion, the countries must have to form stringent laws to curb the
offences
Use synonyms
. If they
would
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apply
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broadcast the criminal trial on TV,
then
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 its disadvantages outweigh the advantages.

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task response
State a clear view in the intro and keep it in the essay. Plan with a simple yes/no or for/against idea.
coherence
Use simple links to connect ideas. One main idea per paragraph. Make the flow easy to follow.
grammar
Fix grammar and word form errors. Use clear and short sentences.
vocabulary
Choose common words and avoid long or rare words.
structure
Clear two-sided idea and a closing view.
content
Some real example from life is shown.
planning
Intro states the topic.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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