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Band 5.5

some people believe that unpaid community services should be a compulsory part of High School programs( for example working for charity improving the neighborhood for teaching sports to younger children) To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #community #services #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
It is the opinion of some people that volunteer services to the
community
 should be made as a compulsory component of High School programs. From my perspective, I agree that
this
 is the key to develop
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of responsibility in young generation.
First
 of all, in terms of unpaid
community
 services if they are incorporated in
curriculum
Suggestion
the curriculum
, it would have great impact on individual's practical life. Services like arranging funds for
Poor
Suggestion
the poor
the Poor
 and orphans develop not only sense of
integrity but
Accept comma addition
integrity, but
this
 leads to character building and personal satisfaction as well. Giving education to students who do not have adequate resources greatly enhances
students
Suggestion
students'
student's
 abilities
thus
 maintaining learners' enthusiasm.
Furthermore
, sharing experiences and teaching
children
Suggestion
children's
 sports could be a good source of increasing their experience and in
this
 way new players can be provided to the
society
. There are,
however
, other benefits
as a result
 of mandatory
community
 services to the students with regards to character building and personality
traits
Suggestion
trait
 development. If it is said, it would not be wrong that future leaders will be produced in
this
 manner.
For
instance voluntary
Accept comma addition
instance, voluntary
 services provide an opportunity to learn communication skills, negotiation skills, time management along with other aspects of leadership traits.
Moreover
,
sense
Suggestion
the sense
a sense
 of social accountability can be provided to the young generation.
This
 would influence their personal life on practical ground as well. They would be
successful entrepreneur
Suggestion
a successful entrepreneur
 in the future who will have a broad picture of
society
. They will not think on
individual basis
Suggestion
an individual basis
 rather than for the benefit
for
Suggestion
of
 whole
society
. Systems would be remarkably changed because of their attitude and skills. To recapitulate, I am
of
from a particular thing or place or position
off
 from
conviction
Suggestion
the conviction
a conviction
 that making unpaid
community
 services mandatory in
higher
Suggestion
the high
 school's curriculum
,
Accept space
,
 would have
positive impact
Suggestion
a positive impact
 not only on personal grounds but on
society level
Suggestion
a societal level
societal level
 as well.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fosters
  • compassion
  • empathy
  • civic engagement
  • practical skills
  • real-world experiences
  • invaluable
  • burden
  • impinging
  • logistical challenges
  • suitable placements
  • quality assurance
  • promote engagement
  • enthusiasm
  • meaningful
  • impactful
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