Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

It is true that the main subjects at school
such
as science, maths,
english
an Indo-European language belonging to the West Germanic branch; the official language of Britain and the United States and most of the commonwealth countries
English
are imperative for students
since
Suggestion
for
primary education.
However
, artistic
subjects namely
Accept comma addition
subjects, namely
music, arts and drama have equal
weightage
for overall growth of a person. I strongly agree
to
Suggestion
with
the latter
view point
a mental position from which things are viewed
viewpoint
because being artistic, not only plays a cardinal role in relieving stress, but may
also
prove to be a better
career
option. At the outset, artistic abilities have a major contribution towards building hobbies, which are crucial for a person’s mental health. Taking breaks in a hectic schedule, be it a study routine or work-related; by carrying out any sort of hobby, relaxes mind and boosts energy to continue with
routinal
an unvarying or habitual method or procedure
routine
activities. If efforts are made since childhood to discover
such
abilities,
then
it helps a person staying strong mentally throughout his life.
For instance
, the majority of IT employees are able to survive in their over-burdened work culture just because they spend
sometime
Suggestion
some time
doing extra-curricular activities whenever they are given a chance in their company’s events by participating in singing, dancing or acting performances.
Therefore
, having involved in artistic things from the beginning has a prime value in a person’s whole life. Does the role of artistic subjects limits only to people’s mental well-being? On the face of it, it may seem that these subjects are merely just for
fun
Suggestion
fun's
sake and useless in reality, but eventually, they can result in great success and form an establishing
career
. Many
bollywood
the film industry of India
Bollywood
celebrities have superb livelihood and earn high respect in their fields of interest, being an actor, a dancer or a musician; despite holding
high degree
Suggestion
a high degree
in their bachelors or masters.
For example
, Kriti Sanon, a
bollywood
the film industry of India
Bollywood
actress, has emerged as a
worthed
clean by virtue of having been washed in water
washed
worded
wetted
performer in the field of modelling, acting and dancing; despite the fact that she
posseses
have as an attribute, knowledge, or skill
possess
possesses
posses
a degree of bachelors in computer science technology.
Thus
, artistic interests can turn out to be more successful
career
options if are practiced from the primary age. In conclusion, albeit technical subjects are important for students since their primary schooling, but the subjects including arts, music and drama have equal importance in shaping a person’s personal and professional life because these subjects refresh mind and being passionate about them,
also
serve as great building blocks of
career
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • holistic development
  • fostering
  • emotional intelligence
  • problem-solving skills
  • cultural awareness
  • curriculum
  • engaging
  • memorable
  • nurture
  • talents
  • core subjects
  • academic
  • professional success
What to do next:
Look at other essays: