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Writing Samples
Band 4

Eating of sugar is harmful to the body. Some people feel that the government should be responsible for regulating the consumption of sugar. Give ur opinion about it.

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The
role
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 of
education
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 is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and
music
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 out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects
such
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 as information technology. To what extent do you agree? It is considered by some that the
role
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 of
education
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 is to develop children f
or
Suggestion
in
of
the present day world.
Therefore
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, more stress should be given to practical subjects
such
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 as computer Programming and topics like arts and
music
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 should be removed from school curriculum. In my opinion, cutting out s
ocial and cultural
Suggestion
the social and cultural subject
subject
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 may not necessarily help children to learn other subjects better
,
Accept space
,
on the contrary
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, it may create new opportunity for students in the
future
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. Every student has its own capacity to learn and understand things
.
Accept space
.
The interest of a child
in particular
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subject
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 plays a
n
Suggestion
a
significant
role
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 in determining how well he comprehends the
subject
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.
Therefore
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, it is ill-logical to impose subjects on them which they don’t like.
In other words
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, giving
c
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hoice
Suggestion
a choice
to select subjects in which a child is more interested will cause more good than harm. We can see
this
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 when g
roup
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a group
of students f
orm
Suggestion
forms
a musical band in schools and turn it into a lucrative career when they grow-up.
In contrast
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,
Accept space
,
lack of
choice
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 in
education
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 may result i
nto
Suggestion
in
negative growth of a student in
future
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.
Furthermore
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, modern s
ocieties
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societies, education
education
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 is not only limited to information technology or scientific discoveries
,
Accept space
,
there is much more to learn and discover. Apart from computers and programming, cultural
music
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 and traditional art i
s
Suggestion
are
an integral part of our society which connect us as a community and as a human being. Not only it helps students to de-stress and socialize, but
also
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 creates great career opportunities in
f
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uture
Suggestion
the future
.
Accept space
.
For instance
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,
Accept space
,
In a recent survey of employment opportunities in t
op ten cities
Suggestion
the top ten cities
in America
,
Accept space
,
ten percent of the total available jobs were contributed by the
music
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 and art industry and two of every ten students participated in the survey preferred acting as p
rimary career
Suggestion
a primary career choice
choice
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. It clearly shows that teaching
music
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 or cultural subjects is as good as learning other popular subjects
such
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 as information technology and data science. To sum up, there is no doubt that
education
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 plays a bigger
role
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 in s
tudents
Suggestion
student
students'
student's
life,
however
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 imposing or limiting the
choice
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 of subjects in schools does not guarantee a successful
future
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 t
o
Suggestion
for
students.
Finally
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, In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
dropping
subject
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 like art and
music
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 does not assist in preparing student for m
odern world
Suggestion
the modern world
a modern world
,
Accept space
,
In fact
,
Accept space
,
it is c
hild learning capability
Suggestion
a child learning capability
the child learning capability
and interest which plays a vital
role
Use synonyms
.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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