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Band 4

Eating of sugar is harmful to the body. Some people feel that the government should be responsible for regulating the consumption of sugar. Give ur opinion about it.

#sugar #body #people #government #consumption #ur
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The
role
 of
education
 is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut arts and
music
 out of that curriculum so that children can focus on the useful subjects
such
 as information technology. To what extent do you agree? It is considered by some that the
role
 of
education
 is to develop children f
or
Suggestion
in
of
the present day world.
Therefore
, more stress should be given to practical subjects
such
 as computer Programming and topics like arts and
music
 should be removed from school curriculum. In my opinion, cutting out s
ocial and cultural
Suggestion
the social and cultural subject
subject
 may not necessarily help children to learn other subjects better
,
Accept space
,
on the contrary
, it may create new opportunity for students in the
future
. Every student has its own capacity to learn and understand things
.
Accept space
.
The interest of a child
in particular
subject
 plays a
n
Suggestion
a
significant
role
 in determining how well he comprehends the
subject
.
Therefore
, it is ill-logical to impose subjects on them which they don’t like.
In other words
, giving
c
hoice
Suggestion
a choice
to select subjects in which a child is more interested will cause more good than harm. We can see
this
 when g
roup
Suggestion
a group
of students f
orm
Suggestion
forms
a musical band in schools and turn it into a lucrative career when they grow-up.
In contrast
,
Accept space
,
lack of
choice
 in
education
 may result i
nto
Suggestion
in
negative growth of a student in
future
.
Furthermore
, modern s
ocieties
Accept comma addition
societies, education
education
 is not only limited to information technology or scientific discoveries
,
Accept space
,
there is much more to learn and discover. Apart from computers and programming, cultural
music
 and traditional art i
s
Suggestion
are
an integral part of our society which connect us as a community and as a human being. Not only it helps students to de-stress and socialize, but
also
 creates great career opportunities in
f
uture
Suggestion
the future
.
Accept space
.
For instance
,
Accept space
,
In a recent survey of employment opportunities in t
op ten cities
Suggestion
the top ten cities
in America
,
Accept space
,
ten percent of the total available jobs were contributed by the
music
 and art industry and two of every ten students participated in the survey preferred acting as p
rimary career
Suggestion
a primary career choice
choice
. It clearly shows that teaching
music
 or cultural subjects is as good as learning other popular subjects
such
 as information technology and data science. To sum up, there is no doubt that
education
 plays a bigger
role
 in s
tudents
Suggestion
student
students'
student's
life,
however
 imposing or limiting the
choice
 of subjects in schools does not guarantee a successful
future
 t
o
Suggestion
for
students.
Finally
, In my opinion
,
Accept space
,
dropping
subject
 like art and
music
 does not assist in preparing student for m
odern world
Suggestion
the modern world
a modern world
,
Accept space
,
In fact
,
Accept space
,
it is c
hild learning capability
Suggestion
a child learning capability
the child learning capability
and interest which plays a vital
role
.
Submitted by drcarljensen783 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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