Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home for work. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages with your own experiences.

#people #time #workplace #home #work #experiences

Undoubtedly, traditional people

work

to complete their basic needs like food, shelter and

clothing but

Accept comma addition

clothing, but

in today’s scenario people

give

Suggestion

will give

more and more preference to

work

for comfort life and stay less

time

with own family.

Therefore

this

trend creates positive and negative effects. To commence with, there are various advantages in support of

work

more. The most prominent one of them is that when person spend precious

time

Suggestion

work

then

, his social network increase and come across with different kind of people, culture and tradition that helps to increase knowledge as well as experience.

For instance

, during

work

period person attends global level conferences and goes through with

distinguish

Suggestion

distinguished

distinguishing

psychological people and catch

number

Suggestion

numbers

of ideas about them.

Secondly

, if people

work

a lot they can make huge bank balance with the help of

money individual can

Suggestion

money an individual can

buy luxurious life style as well as all

kind

Suggestion

kinds

of facilities, which include bungalow, expensive cars, medical support and healthy food.

On the other hand

, downsides of

spend

Suggestion

spending

time

Suggestion

work

cannot be ignore

Suggestion

cannot ignore

cannot be ignored

Initially

, scarcity of bond with

family member

Suggestion

family members

a family member

and

enjoy

Suggestion

enjoys

less

time

with kids and other members of

family

Suggestion

the family

. Due to that kids accompanied by bad people and start to take drugs along with

this

forget the morals and culture of the family because of absence of parents. To illustrate, parents go to

work

morning

Suggestion

the morning

and return at

night

Accept comma addition

night, then

then

child half of the day stay at school and

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

time

live alone because of which love falls short.

Moreover

, people cannot maintain health because they do not take enough rest and most of persons

do sitting

Suggestion

are sitting

do sit

jobs and do not give

time

for exercise which give birth to

number

Suggestion

a number

of diseases

such

as, obesity, cancer, diabetes and body aches. To conclude, there is strong disputation on both sides of the case. My personal agreement is that

work

and personal balance life should be maintained at

individual level

Suggestion

the individual level

Submitted by tejveerbamrah60 on Thu Feb 13 2020

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Your opinion

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

322 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home for work. Discuss its advantages and disadvantages with your own experiences.

Your opinion

Compare new and old generation's interests you can mention. Advantages and disadvantages of their interest.

Nowadays people have developed poor eating habits and do not eat a balanced diet. What are the reasons behind this?

Nowadays a growing number of people with health problems trying alternative medicine and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctors. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that arts (for example, music or painting) don't directly improve people's wellbeing, and therefore the goverment should spend money on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In cities and towns all over the world the high volume of traffic is a problem.What are the causes of this and what actions can be taken to solve this problem?