IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Universities should allocate the same amount of money to students’ sports activities as they allocate to their libraries. Do you agree?

#universities #amount #money #students’ #sports #activities #libraries
It is often argued that books are irreplaceable with
television
 as a learning tool and that children are
less well
Suggestion
less good
-educated today. I strongly disagree with
this
 statement because nowadays, children are more well-educated due to the introduction of televisions
Firstly
,
television
 does not make children less well educated as the literacy
rate
 has increased in the past few years due to the introduction of televisions. It is believed that children pay more attention to the things on
television
 than in class due to the creative ideas created by televisions.
Besides
, children tend to pay more attention and learn things at a faster
rate
 through televisions.
For instance
, it is proven that children who study via an educational programme on
television
 usually perform better than those who attend tuition.
Thus
, it is safe to say that
television
 does have a great impact on the literacy
rate
Secondly
, children are more passionate to learn new things in school nowadays due to the influence on televisions. In my opinion, children take more initiative in learning and it has reduced parents’ hassle on urging them to study.
For example
, statistics have shown that schools which introduce videos during class perform better than others.
This
 show that more children are eager to learn due to their passion and the influence on children. In conclusion, I strongly believe that televisions can replace books as a learning tool as children are more passionate about learning and literacy
rate
 has increased

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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