Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Music

plays a pivotal role in the identity of every culture. Regarding to

this

, people proclaim that,

music

is the best way of gathering individuals of various traditions and generations together. In my opinion, I completely agree with

this

statement. My position is argued

further

, with

relevant example

Suggestion

relevant examples

a relevant example

. To

Initate

bring into being

initiate

imitate

music

is the soul of various

launuages

the descendants of one individual

lineages

lungs

and it can develop a bond of unity

Suggestion

with

the people of dissimilar customs. A good example for

this

is that, one Spanish song,

despacito

Although

, it is in the

spanish

the Romance language spoken in most of Spain and the countries colonized by Spain

Spanish

language, it achieves appreciation and

gains

Suggestion

gain

millions of like from many countries.

Consequently

, a large number of people unfamiliar with

spanish language

Suggestion

the Spanish language

Spanish language

, but due to

despacito

song people

frome

a giver or sender

from

different countries are starting to learn Spanish language.

Furthermore

, currently due to globalisation, fusion versions of

song

Suggestion

the song

is becoming very popular and some songs

are translating

Suggestion

are translated

into the local languages.

Hence

, it can break boundaries of cultures separation and make people able to live in the harmony.

Additionally

, nowadays the

music

directors remake the old songs

into

Suggestion

the current trending

music

styles.

Therefore

, elder people can

also

enjoy

old songs

Suggestion

the old songs

Suggestion

with

the new version as well as it can decrease the generation gap among different age of persons.

On the contrary

, there are some people, who are

the great

Suggestion

the greatest

fan of classical

music

. As a consequence, they do not want to

listen western

Suggestion

listen to western

music

In addition

this

, some people believe that

music

is not a better way

inspite

Suggestion

in spite

of that, authorities from different nations should arrange international sports competitions,

insternational

Suggestion

international

dance festival and so on.

Suggestion

gist, it is true that,

music

. Can fill the space of detachment between different cultures to a large extent and can spread a sense of living in

armony

compatibility in opinion and action

harmony

among people

Suggestion

a global stage.

Fri Feb 14 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

298 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

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