IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Should the same laws which prohibit the sale and consumption of heroin be applied to tobacco? Discuss.

#laws #sale #consumption #heroin #tobacco
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recently, a heated debate
arouse
Suggestion
arouses
 when a few reputable health organizations suggested the application of a similar act of heroin selling and usage prohibition _. In
this
Linking Words
assay
an analytic or interpretive literary composition
essay
, I will
analyze
consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning
analyse
 why the adoption of
such
Linking Words
 a law could be a breakthrough in our youngsters’ safety, according to my vision.
Firstly
Linking Words
, tobacco does not differ much from heroin when it comes to the addictive effect.
Nicotin
Suggestion
Nicotine
,
Accept space
,
 the active ingredient in tobacco, exerts its effect by acting directly on smoker’s brain cells. Numerous experiments carried out by scientist on animals,
specailly
to a distinctly greater extent or degree than is common
especially
 rats, proved that
this
Linking Words
 toxic chemical does lead
by
Suggestion
with
 time to dependency, just
Linking Words
similarly
Suggestion
similar
 to the effect experienced with
herion
(law) a proceeding (usually by a court) where evidence is taken for the purpose of determining an issue of fact and reaching a decision based on that evidence
hearing
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the restriction on
cigerattes
finely ground tobacco wrapped in paper; for smoking
cigarettes
cigarette
 selling would surely show an instant decline in tobacco smoking. ” Having easy access to cigarettes puts a tremendous pressure, especially
on
Suggestion
in
with
 teenagers
,
Accept space
,
to resist
such
Linking Words
 a temptation” Dr.Hisham
,
Accept space
,
 head of
Pschycology
the science of mental life
psychology
 department at Alexandria Medical college
,
Accept space
,
 states firmly. “Giving the new generation the sense that the severity of smoking is
equivilant
a person or thing equal to another in value or measure or force or effect or significance etc
equivalent
 to other lethal drugs usage
woulod
past tense of "will"
would
 be a life saving step, they will thank us for as they get older.”
he
Suggestion
He
 continues. To recapitulate, applying of a futuristic
law
Accept comma addition
law, such
such
Linking Words
 as the suggested one will
definetly
without question and beyond doubt
definitely
 have a positive impact
,
Accept space
,
not only
on
Suggestion
for
 young people’s health but on our society as a whole.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: