Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Wild
animals
being kept in
zoos
is a very controversial issue. In
this
essay, I am going to
discusses
Wrong verb form
discuss
show examples
this
question from both points of view and
then
I will give my own opinion on the matter. [The sentence you wrote was not wrong but is better the way I've changed it] On one side of the argument there are people who believe that wild
animals
should never be kept captive. The main reason for believing
that is
because keeping wild
animals
in a confined space, outside their natural habitat, can be quite cruel to them.
Animals
often suffer to adapt to captive life, some cannot adapt at all and end up dying. Another reason is
because
Replace the word
that
show examples
exploring
exploiting
Correct word choice
and exploiting
show examples
animals
and thinking only about the profits is not morally right. A good example is the traditional photo holding a koala offered by every zoo in Australia. The poor animal is held by hundreds of tourists every day just so the zoo can make money. [
This
just makes it clearer]
On the other hand
, it is
also
possible to make the opposing case. Some people feel that having
zoos
can be justifiable. People defend
this
opinion arguing that taking children to a zoo is the best way to educate them about
animals
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
wildlife. It can help the young ones to develop love and admiration for the
animals
. A second point is that
zoos
can help to preserve endangered species by promoting awareness and by raising money for
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
their preservation. In my opinion, both points of view have their merits. On balance
however
Add the comma(s)
, however
show examples
, I tend to believe that wild
animals
should not be kept in
zoos
because it is cruel to them and
also
because I think there should be different ways to educate children and preserve endangered
Correct your spelling
species
speci
Correct your spelling
species
Submitted by fanica.ionica on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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