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Band 4.5

Nowadays, many families have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can care of their children, while others think childcare centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#families #parents #members #grandparents #care #children #childcare #centres
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As time goes by, it becomes something common to have both parents working.
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However people
Accept comma addition
However, people
 argue about who should take care of their children. While some families think that it is the
resbonsibility
the social force that binds you to the courses of action demanded by that force
responsibility
responsibilities
 of the other family members, other
peopls
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
peoples
says
Suggestion
say
 that it is better to put them in a
Use synonyms
childcare
Suggestion
child care
Use synonyms
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
.
This
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 essay will
discusse
to consider or examine in speech or writing
discuss
disclose
 both points of view and gives an opinion. There are many different reasons why some parents want to keep their children with other family members during their work time.
First
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 of all, it is
more safer
Suggestion
safer
safest
 to keep your children with someone you know very
will
come up, as of a liquid
well
, because you can
relly
have confidence or faith in
rely
 on them without being anxious, because he will love them and will be able to give them enough attention.
Moreover
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, it is more
benifficial
promoting or enhancing well-being
beneficial
 for the children to grow up between their family members -even if they are not their parents- because that will improve their
sence
a general conscious awareness
sense
 of belonging.
On the other hand
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, some parents believe that it is more efficient to keep their children in a
childcare
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 because
firstly
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, children can learn many different things there, including how to depend on themselves and how to communicate with others and that will make them stronger in the future.
Secondly
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, family members may not be
allways
at all times; all the time and on every occasion
always
 able to take care about the children,
wherese
on the other hand
whereas
 in the
Use synonyms
childcare
Suggestion
child care
Use synonyms
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
,
it
it is
it's
 their
jop
the principal activity in your life that you do to earn money
job
 to grow them up.I
also
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 think
that is
Linking Words
 more comfortable for the parents to leave their children in a
childcare
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 while they are working rather than keeping them with a family member who may not be able to take care of them
allways
at all times; all the time and on every occasion
always
. In conclusion, it is the parent choice to decide where to keep their children during their work time.
some
Suggestion
Some
 people
says
Suggestion
say
 leaving them with
family member
Suggestion
a family member
family members
 may be
more safer
Suggestion
safer
, other think that the
childcare
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
 is more comfortable and it will give the children the confidence to face things in future.
Submitted by amirabassil on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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