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Band 5.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
Many people
work
 on a volunteer basis, and
this
 can only be beneficial for both individuals and
society
 as a whole. Personally, I disagree with
this
 opinion. Working as a volunteer has become increasingly popular among teenagers. I agree that
this
 can help them to f
ulfill
put in effect
fulfil
their free time.
On the other hand
, studying is more important than doing unpaid
work
 and most of them find it extremely hard as a compulsory studying. If individual teenagers had free time, they would do sports
instead
 of doing unpaid
work
. They have many years of
work
 ahead of them when they finish their studies.
On the other hand
, those who think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid
work
, they
pressure
 on them and it can cause resentment amongst teenagers and
society
.
Furthermore
, I do not agree that
society
 would benefit from unpaid
work
 as a whole. To force young people to
work
 as a volunteer could be counterproductive and parents would be dissatisfied how to r
ise
raise the level or amount of something
raise
their children. E
ncorcement
Suggestion
The enforcement
Enforcement
on teenagers can gain nothing for the young and
society
.
For example
, r
ecent survey
Suggestion
a recent survey
on how enforcement can be d
evastating effect
Suggestion
devastating effects
on children states that roughly over 50 percent of teenagers leave home to escape their parents'
pressure
. It shows us that doing unpaid
work
 under
pressure
 is not optional for both. In conclusion, despite the requirement that some people think about unpaid
work
, I do believe that studying is
also
 as unpaid
work
 for teenagers and to avoid
pressure
 is more important than making
this
 compulsory.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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