More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be e the consequences of this ?what solution can you offer?

#people #background #cities #work #e #consequences #offer

The world

is steadily become

Suggestion

has steadily become

is steadily becoming

urban

Suggestion

urbanized

, as many people are moving to urban areas living

agriculture

to pursue new jobs. There are several reasons for

such

situation and

also

few visible influences too.

First

and foremost, due to lack of infrastructure in rural

areas

Suggestion

area's

inhabitants move to urban area to seek new jobs. As many people are migrating to cities it is becoming overcrowded, which lead to

lot

Suggestion

lots

of pressure on the resources like

land

, water, public transportation, health, law etc. Due to increase in demand for

land

prices are shooting up quickly. People are

also

facing

problem

Suggestion

problems

the problem

a problem

related to water supply.

This

also lead

Suggestion

also leads

to encroachment of pavements and creation of slums. In villages, as more

land

exist

Suggestion

exists

farming, the

agriculture

economy has to suffer. To meet the demand of urban population new technology like factory farming or new scientific experiments are done, as a consequence normal farmers are suffering and becoming jobless.

Secondly

, due to the extreme climate changes many times due to

drought farmers

Accept comma addition

drought, farmers

suffer great loss and some are under debt. To add up, due to the overcrowding in urban areas more

land

are utilised

Suggestion

is utilised

for residential purpose and decrease the area for agricultural which

also

creates

problem

Suggestion

a problem

problems

for rural people. The solution

is is

Suggestion

is being

has been

not

simple but

Accept comma addition

simple, but

what can be understood is that we cannot stop urbanization. It is

also

good for

economy

Suggestion

the economy

However careful

Accept comma addition

However, careful

planning for the future is required which will solve the

urban rural

Accept comma addition

urban, rural

problem

great extent

Suggestion

a great extent

Furthermore commercial

Accept comma addition

Furthermore, commercial

agriculture

, organic

agriculture

should be encouraged to meet the demand of food. Through

urban rural

Accept comma addition

urban, rural

linkage new methods to solve the

problem

can be carried out.

For

instance if

Accept comma addition

instance, if

proper public transportation, health services

are build

Suggestion

are built

are building

in rural

areas it

Accept comma addition

areas, it

will decrease the migration and it can balance both places. In the conclusion I would pen

down saying

Accept comma addition

down, saying

, that urbanization is very beneficial for

economy

Suggestion

the economy

, but

this

modernization can be maintained if the roots will remain stronger

refers to the speaker or writer

Suggestion

farmers,

agriculture

and resources.

Tue Feb 18 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

330 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people are moving away from an agricultural background to relocate to cities in order to look for work. What will be e the consequences of this ?what solution can you offer?

Your opinion

Obesity is an ever-growing pandemic that is affecting more and more of the world’s population. The number of people who are at risk of serious health problems due to being overweight is increasing. What is the reason for the growth of overweight people in society? How can this issue be resolved?

Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks?

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the media have to right to publish detail of people’s view, while other thinks it should be controlled. Discuss both views.

In recent years, there has been a rise in the popularity of second-hand clothing amongst the younger generation. Why is this happening? Do you think it’s a positive or negative development?