Some people think that main factors influencing a child's development these days are things such as television, friends and music. Others believe that family still remains more important.

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Different people have distinct viewpoint. Some section of society deem that parents definitely have
major role
Suggestion
a major role
for
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in
the
development
Use synonyms
of their
child
Use synonyms
along with they get older where as others opine that people in majority
also
Linking Words
considered that surrounding
society
Suggestion
societal
factors apart from family now influencing children much more. The following paragraphs would shed light
on to
to on
onto
the approaches before making the final conclusion along with my perspective. To commence with the
first
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notion, there are
myraid
too numerous to be counted
myriad
things to be
share
Suggestion
shared
in the
first
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statements.
First
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and foremost, there are no
skeptical
denying or questioning the tenets of especially a religion
sceptical
prospect that how some factors apart from the family that significantly impact on
Use synonyms
child's
Suggestion
the child's development
a child's development
development
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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, there
is
Suggestion
are
television and internet
acces
the right to enter
access
.
Hence
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children potentially spend much more time on
this
Linking Words
than they used to do in
past
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the past
. Beside
this
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, friends
also
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play
important role
Suggestion
an important role
important roles
and have
important effect
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an important effect
as a
child
Use synonyms
will often copy peers virtually that they admire and respect.
This
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could be positive behaviour,
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conversely it
Accept comma addition
conversely, it
could
also
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be flawed. There was a survey
done be
Suggestion
was being
will be
was
is
"The Times Of India" in 2012, which stated that around 300 crores rupees have been
spend
Suggestion
spent
in a
yearfor
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year for
the treatment of teenagers as they are addicted to drugs and smoking throughout
countries
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the countries
.
However
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, others believe that family have
most significant impact
Suggestion
a more significant impact
more significant impact
towards their children because children spend most of their time with their family especially in their foremost years. Not only confidence, socialisation skills, moral values,
views but
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views, but
also
Linking Words
many momentous factors they develop in their life through interaction with them. Proof of
this
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important proliferation can be seen in the difference between some children. Beside
this
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, those grow up in
disfunctional
impaired in function; especially of a bodily system or organ
dysfunctional
home often eventually have problems themselves whilst those that are brought up after superseded in a warm and close environment end up with more confident and secure in adult life. In a gist, it can be said that "Every coin has two sides". In the same manner, both aspects of
Use synonyms
child's
Suggestion
a child's development
the child's development
development
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are imperative for both groups of people and cannot be denied.
Linking Words
However I
Accept comma addition
However, I
would like to infer that
family
Suggestion
the family
have
Suggestion
has
significant impact towards their
child
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's
development
Use synonyms
.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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