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Writing Samples
Band 6

The table below shows the results of survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the activities, facilities and opening hours.

The table below shows the results of survey to find out what members of a city sports club think about the activities, facilities and opening hours.
#results #survey #members #city #sports #club #activities #facilities #hours
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The table gives information about
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
 of
survey
Correct article usage
the survey
show examples
 of different
activities
Use synonyms
 like
Use synonyms
range
Add an article
the range
a range
show examples
 of
activities
Use synonyms
, club facilities and opening
hours
Use synonyms
 for female
members
Use synonyms
 and male
members
Use synonyms
 of a city sports club.
Overall
Linking Words
, the table indicates that female
members
Use synonyms
 were
highest
Change the article
the highest
show examples
 percentage of satisfied and not satisfied with opening
hours
Use synonyms
 and
range
Use synonyms
 of
activities
Use synonyms
 respectively. Inversely
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 amount of percentages
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 female
members
Use synonyms
 with opening
hours
Use synonyms
 and
range
Use synonyms
 of
activities
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, the rest of the male
members
Use synonyms
 are almost opposite
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
female
members
Use synonyms
. It can see that the
range
Use synonyms
 of
activities
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
 male
members
Use synonyms
 is generally happy with 95% and only 5% unhappy.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, the female
members
Use synonyms
seven
Add a missing verb
were seven
show examples
 out of ten
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 satisfied and almost a
third
Linking Words
 were dissatisfied.
The both
Remove the article
Both
show examples
 genders were more in agreement about club facilities. Only 14%
Change preposition
of female
show examples
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 and 10%
Change preposition
of male
show examples
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 were not satisfied with these, and the majority (64% and 63% respectively) were extremely happy.
Finally
Linking Words
, in the opening
Use synonyms
hours
Add a comma
,hours
show examples
 very large number of (97%) female
members
Use synonyms
 were
positive
Correct article usage
a positive
show examples
response
Fix the agreement mistake
responses
show examples
 and only less than one in twenty (3%) percentage were
negative
Add an article
the negative
a negative
show examples
response
Fix the agreement mistake
responses
show examples
. And male
members
Use synonyms
 were happy with almost double (63%) about the unhappy people (37%).

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activities, range, hours, members with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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