Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It is well-known that

music

can reach

Suggestion

into

the different parts of the world

Accept space

It is yet debatable that

music

is a

onw

used of a single unit or thing; not two or more

one

of the best way for having

closer relationship

Suggestion

a closer relationship

of the people in various nations and ages as well. Would

this

trure

consistent with fact or reality; not false

true

? I

contend

without stop or interruption

continued

to agree with

this

statement.

This

will be explain

Suggestion

will be explained

in the following paragraph how

music

helps for the amalgamation of

culture

and people together in all aspects.

Music

is important for different

culture

different

Suggestion

different countries

country

. But it has been found that people listen and enjoy different kinds of

music

For example

K-Pop

music

initially

was not so famous but when they became known to other English speaking

country

, now they might be

popular

Suggestion

more popular

than before. And people could learn the Korean

culture

as well.

Thus

, people become closer by

this

music

Further

, it has been seen that older people generally does not like hip-hop

music

. They like soft

music

which can always not available in their own

country

musician.

For instance

, people of South Asian countries used to listen Indian Contemporary

music

This

type of

music

is not present in their

country

As a result

, it has been proved that

music

can bring people of all ages together. In conclusion,

although

some people opine that

music

is not important for

begetting

the act of overcoming or outdoing

beating

budgeting

people

together but

Accept comma addition

together, but

I believe it does

popular

Suggestion

popularly

for closing people of all

culture

Suggestion

cultures

and ages. If government gives proper attention in

this

sector

Accept space

it will help every

country

becoming popular.

Submitted by melebau on Thu Feb 20 2020

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

252 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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