IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Nowadays people are spending more time in workplace and staying away from home for work. Discuss its advantage and disadvantages?

#people #time #workplace #home #work #advantage
With the modernisation, most people work at offices for more hours as compared to their homes. Working for long hours at workplace raise their chances of professional growth and it
also
 results in increased monthly income, but there are
also
 some drawbacks to be taken into account. On the one hand, working for more hours offers many benefits to employees.
Firstly
, it increases their chances of faster growth as compared to other colleagues. Owing to increased business competition, every employer wants to gain competitive advantage over their rivals by delivering the products faster.
Therefore
, leaders like the employee who deliver the desired results or products before deadline.
As a result
,
such
 employees get promotions faster and climb the success ladder in short span of
time
.
Secondly
, it allows people to increase their monthly as well as annual income. Many employers provide different perks
such
 as food coupons and overtime allowances to their employees, who work for extra hours.
On the other hand
, spending more
time
 at the workplace has some downsides too. One of the major problems is, people who keep their focus only on work become depressed over
time
. They usually don't get
time
 to do exercises or follow any fitness regime. In a study, done by world health organization, it was found that people, who extend their working hours, get stressed easily as compared to others. Another possible issue is, these people get disconnected from their neighbourhood. They leave home early and reach late,
therefore
, they hardly get any chance to interact with their neighbours and society members. In conclusion, while there are some benefits of spending long hours in the workplace, it can
also
 lead to increased stress and loss of connection with the community.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: