26. Many people believe that majority of children in western countries are being obese. Is it true? Agree or disagree. Give reasons and examples.

Obesity has become one of health issues around the world due to the civilization and industrialization. Many people opine that it is not only affects adults
but
Accept comma addition
adults, but
also
the youth in develo
ped natio
Suggestion
developing
ns. I totally agree their view and the essay will discuss
this
view with examples.
To begin
with, researches indicate that more children are overweight or obese and
this
trend will continue to be upward.
This
may be resulted from unhealthy eating habits learned from their parents, easily assess to fast foods, extremely busy lifestyles, and so on.
For example
, cheaper and convenient fast food restaurants distribute through western countries and provide 24-hour services for their busy clients. The convenient service and affordable prices attract many parents to bring their children there to enjoy the meals. especi
ally the p
Suggestion
Especially
oor.
In addition
, food are no
lo
Suggestion
was
were
nger as safe as those in the past.
For instance
, genetic transformed fruits and poultries raised by using steroid
also
contribute the obesity of children.
In addition
, lack of exercises and unhealthy lifestyle
also
contribute to obese children as well. Novel digital gadgets keep children occupied on their interest in playing video games, watching TV, surfing online, ect..
The
long-screen time will reduce their outdoor activities and contribute a sedentary lifestyle which will cause children obese.
For example
, researches indicate that children who spent more than two hours on screen daily will develop obese.
Suggestion
obesity
Moreover
, mental health issues,
such
as depression or anxiety
also
dominate the youth. Medications for treating these diseases
also
cause obesity as well.  In conclusion, obesity has been treated as one of chroni
c diseases worldwide. It w
Suggestion
the chronic diseases worldwide
ill increase the chances for obese people to develop many health illnesses,
such
as heart attack, stroke, type 2 diabetes mellitus, and so on. High p
ercentage of ch
Suggestion
The high percentage
ildren are obese due to the above reasons. Obesity even worsen
child
Suggestion
worsens
ren's confidence and competency;
therefore
, parents and educators should enhance children exercise and reduce the screen time in order to prevent our future generation.
Submitted by busybee1693 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: