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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone call in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone call in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar graph illustrates the combined
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time spend in
billions
 of
minutes
,
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 three
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of
Change the noun form
phone
show examples
phones
Add the comma(s)
,phones
show examples
 calls in the United Kingdom from 1995 to 2002.
Overall
, local calls were the most popular over the whole period, with national and international calls and
mobiles
Fix the agreement mistake
mobile
show examples
 calls in
second
 and
third
 respectively.
However
, national and international calls and mobiles both increased over the period; with mobile
minutes
 increasing significantly,
thus
, narrowing the gap between the three categories in 2002.
Minutes
 spend
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local
call
Fix the agreement mistake
calls
show examples
 fluctuated over the time period, with just over 70
billions
Change to singular
billion
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minutes
 in 1995, peaking at approximately 90
billions
Change to singular
billion
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minutes
 in 1999 and
then
 steadily decreasing
just
Change preposition
by just
show examples
 over 70 billion
minutes
 in 2002. National and international calls increased gradually year on year, from just under 40
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 1995
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to
peak
Add an article
the peak
a peak
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 of just over 60
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 2002.
Mobiles
Change the noun form
Mobile
show examples
calls
Change the verb form
call
show examples
 increased rapidly
with
Change preposition
from
show examples
 around 5
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 1995 to around 45
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 2002. Mobile
phones
Change the noun form
phone
show examples
 usage doubled from approximately 20
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 2000 to 40
billions
Correct your spelling
billion
show examples
minutes
 in 2002.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words billions, minutes with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number of minutes
  • telephone calls
  • categories
  • local – fixed line
  • national and international – fixed line
  • mobiles
  • general trend
  • yearly totals
  • significant changes
  • milestones
  • data
  • rise significantly
  • decline
  • steady increase
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • exponential growth
  • over the period
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