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Band 4

Nowadays, people are living an increasingly longer life and in many countries there are more old people than young people. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #life #countries #trend
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In the modern era, technology is very
vast
acting or moving or capable of acting or moving quickly
fast
, as several methods are
avaliable
obtainable or accessible and ready for use or service
available
 to maintain human being's physical conditions.
As a result
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 of
this
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, the lifespan of an individual has increased.
Moreover
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, it has
also
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 been observed that the count of the older generation is more than the younger generation in some nations.
However
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, there are several merits of
this
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 tend like presence of more life experienced person in family along with some demerits like less jobs for the younger
generationgeneration
Suggestion
generation generation
 and economic setback. The upcoming paragraphs will discuss both the points. The presence of
more number
Suggestion
a number
number
 of
old
Suggestion
older
generation
Suggestion
generations
 in the country has many advantages.
Firstly
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, culture and tradition will exist. More family values are shown in older people who keep the bond
stronger
Suggestion
strong
 between family members, as they are observed to be more attached to their roots in comparison to younger one.
Hence
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, tradition and culture remain alive within them.
Secondly
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, it has
also
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 been observed that older people have more life experience than young people, As a consequence, they can be regarded as a veteran of decision making. On the contrast, numerous disadvantages have
also
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 been
noticedalso
Suggestion
noticed also
been
Suggestion
was
is
 noticed of
this
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 trend.
Firstly
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, there is a huge economic setback for the government in case of older people. As it will be considered as the responsibility of government to provide them pension due to their low physical potential.
Moreover
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, due to their physical conditions, some older ones are not in a condition to do a job and earn money. As a consequence of
this
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, they proved to be a burden on family and government.
Secondly
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, the presence of more elder people leads to unemployment for younger one because after retirement, some older people with good health start working in other places to earn money. With a long life span, more older people will be recruited in job positions and the lesser will be the vacancy for younger ones.
Hence
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, the rise in unemployment for them has been noticed. To recapitulate, it can be said that, the rise in greying society has numerous advantages,
however
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, it
also
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 comes with some of the disadvantages which cannot be neglected.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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