IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, the multiple kinds of crime rate were rising compared to the last two decades ago in almost all countries. The essay will examine the main causes of increasing misconduct and possible solutions of this problem.

#kinds #crime #rate #two #decades #countries #misconduct
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays many
Accept comma addition
Nowadays, many
 people
work
Use synonyms
 long hours, leaving them little
time
Use synonyms
 for leisure activities.There are some advantages in
this
Linking Words
 situation, but personally
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 feel
their
in or at that place
there
 are more disadvantages. The advantages include the possibilities to earn more money, if employers pay for overtime for extra hour worked.
This
Linking Words
 can be a real bonus if someone is saving
withva
Suggestion
with a
with va
 particular goal in mind: a holiday,
for example
Linking Words
, or saving money to buy
house
Suggestion
houses
 or flat. Another advantage might be that more
time
Use synonyms
 spent
at
Suggestion
on
 job enables a more thorough understanding of the job.Some professions
such
Linking Words
 as law and accountancy require familiarity
witha
Suggestion
with a
 wide range of rules and requirements and these cannot
be all learned
Suggestion
all be learned
 through study; they have to be learned on the job.
FOr
Suggestion
For
 younger people there is
also
Linking Words
 the sheer stimulus of being involved in something they enjoy, so that they do not object to, or count, the hours they spend at
work
Use synonyms
. Unfortunately, if people do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to relax
,
Accept space
,
 there are quite major risks associated with
this
Linking Words
. Health often suffers, either physically or mentally, and sometimes both.Taking
time
Use synonyms
 out for physical leisure activities has positive effects on health though the release of chemicals that make us feel better both physically and mentally.Other leisure activities may involve spending
time
Use synonyms
 with
group
Suggestion
a group
 of people, activating skills other than those used at
work
Use synonyms
 and
thus
Linking Words
 encouraging supportive social
netwroks
an interconnected system of things or people
networks
.
Frinedship
Suggestion
Friendship
 can
also
Linking Words
 be
weakend
impaired by diminution
weakened
waked
awakened
 because of not making enough
time
Use synonyms
 to stay in touch, but using only a little of your free
time
Use synonyms
 to have a meal or go to cinema with someone helps to maintain that
friendhsip
the state of being friends (or friendly)
friendship
.Listening to your friend's problems, or talking through your own, reinforces your friendship with them, as well as allowing you to switch off mentally from the things that have been happening at
work
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 'distancing' from
work
Use synonyms
 helps you to get things back into
persepective
a way of regarding situations or topics etc.
perspective
 and can sometimes help you to find solutions to
matter
Suggestion
matters
 that have been bothering you. Within a family
siituation
the general state of things; the combination of circumstances at a given time
situation
station
 a
partenr
a person's partner in marriage
partner
 may feel neglected if the other one spends long hours at
work
Use synonyms
, or a child may feel neglected because mummy/daddy
is
Suggestion
has been
 never around for birthdays, school performances or vital sports matches.
This
Linking Words
 lack of involvement is a major contributor to family breakdown, which in turn has wider
repurcussions
a remote or indirect consequence of some action
repercussions
in
Suggestion
on
 our society.
Use synonyms
work
Suggestion
Work
 is a major part of our
lives
Suggestion
life
 and it is to be hoped that many find it enjoyable,
challanging
requiring full use of your abilities or resources
challenging
, and stimulating, but it is important to recognise the need for
work
Use synonyms
-life balance and to ensure that
this
Linking Words
 is put into practice.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: