IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter: • Explain why you would like the job • Give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ • Say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr./Ms. I would like to apply for the position of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
baby sister advertised in yesterday’s Australia Magazine. Enclosed with
this
Linking Words
 letter is my resume, which
further
Linking Words
 details
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my information, previous experience and qualifications. Currently, I am living
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Canada with my family and I love caring for children. At the beginning of March 2020, I will take a gap period for 6 months before I start
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new job
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Australia. In
this
Linking Words
 period, I would like to find a job
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 ensures that I can do it as well and bring to me enough money to pay the necessary expenditures for exploring
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 culture while staying with your family. I am a professional caregiver as I have graduated
Change preposition
as a
show examples
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
preschool
teachers
Fix the agreement mistake
teacher
show examples
 from tertiary education with more than four years
experience
Change preposition
of experience
show examples
 in taking care of my sister
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Canada. I can assure you to provide my best service. As you mentioned in the advert that your child is going to school for 5 hours on weekdays.
On
Change preposition
In
show examples
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 leisure time, I will spend
this
Linking Words
 time
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
sightseeing landscape to take some beautiful pictures and
discovery
Replace the word
discover
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Australian culture. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Best regards, Jenny

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
What to do next:
Look at other essays: