IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As national services, which one deserve to receive more financial support, education or health?

Nowadays, it is often argued that which sector should receive a large portion of government funds either health care system or study system and different people have different mindsets. The vast majority of masses ponder that authorities should increase the budget in health rather than
education
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, other averse go it. In my opinion, I strongly reckon that finance department should allocate more money to
education
Use synonyms
. The following paragraphs will
first
Linking Words
 elucidate the pertinent reasons of my assertion with an apt example, followed by a factors conclusion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are a number of aspects in favour of my perspectives.
First
Linking Words
 compelling factor is that there is no doubt,
education
Use synonyms
 is the key to improve the economy of the nation.
As a result
Linking Words
 higher the literacy rate
of
Suggestion
in
 the nation, and it will achieve prosperity.
Secondly
Linking Words
, to invest the money in
Use synonyms
education system
Suggestion
the education system
 will increase the employment rate,
thus
Linking Words
 generating the most money for the nation. Certainly, more employment means citizens can contribute to the development of their country through taxes.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per a recent survey in the USA, 75% of the government annual budget came from the professional tax.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is clear that
education
Use synonyms
 can help increase the nation’s budget. In conclusion, I strongly recommend that the government should make the schooling its number one priority during the allocation of funds and it is the need of the hour.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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