IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people today are drinking sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons for this? What are the solutions?

#people #drinks
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These days, there is vast consumption of sugary drinks is included in our daily life routines,
although
Linking Words
 everyone is much aware about the adverse effects of
this
Linking Words
 act, but due to the negligence
this
Linking Words
 become the real face of society. Some major factor of
this
Linking Words
 approach are, Due to the shortage of timing and usage or ready-made items in our daily hectic schedules amplify these problems. As, if we look closer to our daily routines each one of us is having merely time to think or watch that what exactly they are consuming in terms of food or
drinking
Suggestion
drink
drinks
. According to the reports of survey in
USA
Suggestion
the USA
, the consumption of
sugar
Use synonyms
 intake in our diet, especially drinks intake exceeded drastically in
Linking Words
last 2 decades
Suggestion
the last 2 decades
 by 45 percentage.
Additionally
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, on the other side, In our homes we are less active and serve our guests with ready-made market available juices, which contained
sugar
Use synonyms
,
however
Linking Words
, I reckon that these are
major factor
Suggestion
a major factor
major factors
 contributing
for
Suggestion
to
 the excess of
sugar
Use synonyms
 in our daily life. There are numerous solutions to
this
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 problem. As various problems are only caused because of our ignoring behaviour and less active lifestyle. We take everything for granted and always keep our self involved in office works and forget about the fact that, if we would
not not
negation of a word or group of words
not
 be medically fit going forward, we might not be able to work
in
Suggestion
at
 the same pace. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, a study carried out by the leading magazine "Health" in Canada states that, people who ignore
there
of them or themselves
their
 health during their work-life, are more likely to be
fell
mat together and make felt-like
felt
 in serious diseases in their mature age.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, parents have to guide their siblings about the negative effects of consuming glucose water. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 is clear that, we have to be very keen on, what we are eating and whether
this
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 is beneficial for our body or not, While managing our daily routines smartly and avoid excess usage of
sugar
Use synonyms
, as
this
Linking Words
 badly
effects
have an effect upon
affects
 our body in the long run.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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