some people think that to be successful you need to get University education whereas others say it is not true. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Education
is the fundamental right of children and it leads to an individual process.
While
some
people
believe that
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
is important if you want to be successful in your
life
, other
people
disagree with
this
statement and they think it is not true.
This
essay will discuss why you can be successful in
life
without getting a
University
education
, but getting a
university
education
is much better. There are a number of
people
who believe that
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
plays an important role in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
life
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
a person, who wants to be successful. They have reason to believe that if you get a
University
education
then
you will have a good degree and in
university
placements
Add a comma
placements,
show examples
you will have a chance to
hire
Wrong verb form
be hired
show examples
by the best companies with a good salary package. With
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
University
degree in your hand, you can give
interview
Correct article usage
an interview
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
any big farm and you could get hired by them.
For example
, recent research shows that if you have a
University
degree,
then
you will have a 90% chance to be successful in your
life
. Because of these
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
show examples
people
think that getting a
University
education
is important.
In contrast
,
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
who believe that you must get a
University
education
if you want to be successful are those who think that you can still be successful without getting
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
. If you have any startup Idea
then
you can start a whole company on that Idea and for
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
you don't need
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
.
For instance
, there are so many billionaires like Steve
jobs
Capitalize word
Jobs
show examples
, Mark Zucker-Burg,
bill gates
Correct your spelling
Bill Gates
show examples
and Jeff Bezos
are
Correct pronoun usage
who are
show examples
college dropouts and nowadays their companies are among the best companies in the world.
So these
Rephrase
These
show examples
people
believe that marketing and practical knowledge are much more important than
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
to be successful in
life
. In conclusion, To be a better person
education
is important.
This
discussed why it is not essential to get
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
University
education
if you want to be successful, but why it plays a vital role in our success. In my opinion, every person who gets
University
Correct article usage
a University
show examples
education
whether they want to be successful or not.

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task response
The essay lacks a clear and focused response to the task. The arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific support.
coherence and cohesion
The essay shows some attempt at coherence and cohesion but lacks a logical structure. Improve the organization of ideas and the use of cohesive devices.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • university education
  • higher pay
  • sweated and sacrificed
  • higher education
  • time, effort, and financial investment
  • specialized knowledge and skills
  • job prospects
  • economic contributions
  • valuable contributions
  • fairness and equality
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