some people think that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading,writing and math. how far do you agree or disagree ?

#people #computer #skills #subjects #school #math

Nowadays, computers and related technologies take a crucial role in the community’s advancement and using them will progress significantly. While it’s believed that

computer

skill just

Accept comma addition

skill, just

like any other subjects should be studied by students during their elementary

school

. I agree with the idea and I think adolescents should start learning

computer

skills enthusiastically.

However it’s

Accept comma addition

However, it’s

the duty of the teachers and parents as well to make sure that the growing teenagers do not

use

them improperly. On the one hand, using computers

have became

Suggestion

has become

much common that

almost we

Suggestion

we use it almost

use

it everyday and it took much time until we were able to learn important skills in using it. If children could start to study them earlier in

school

, they will probably be more professional in it when they reach twentieth

Accept space

So using it will be much easier for them

Accept space

For example

, when they learn how to

use

C++

Accept space

they might be able to make their own program in the future

Accept space

On the other hand

, a lot of teenagers

use

computers for playing games and watching those videos that are not suitable for their growing

ages

Suggestion

age

Thus certain

Accept comma addition

Thus, certain

programs and online websites should be blocked by their parents or

school

authorities before letting the teenager

use

the

computer

For instance

, many games

Suggestion

are

addictive and time consuming that

keep

Suggestion

keeps

adolescents

Suggestion

adolescent

attention away from studying.

Consequently

, elementary

school

students should be advised to know for which purpose they ought to

use

computers and any other smart technologies. In conclusion,

although

many people

believes

Suggestion

believe

that

computer

skills shall be studied like any other elementary

school

subjects

Accept space

I agree with the idea because

necessity

Suggestion

the necessity

of acquiring

computer

skills

tend

Suggestion

tends

increase so

Accept comma addition

increase, so

teenagers should start studying them in an earlier

ages

Suggestion

age

However

, it’s their

families

Suggestion

family

family's

families'

responsibilities to make sure that their child

use

Suggestion

uses

computers in a proper way.

Submitted by shanya.faraidoon.95 on Mon Feb 24 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people think that computer skills should be added to primary subjects in elementary school such as reading,writing and math. how far do you agree or disagree ?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries, some school leavers choose to work or travel for a year between finishing secondary school and attending university.