IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The charts below show that UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full time work after leaving college in 2008

The charts below show that UK graduate and post graduate students who did not go into full time work after leaving college in 2008
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A glance at the graph provided reveals information
of
Change preposition
on
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 activities
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
 British
Use synonyms
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
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 and
post
Add a hyphen
post-graduate
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graduate
Use synonyms
 participated
after
Change preposition
in after
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 college graduation apart from
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
work
Use synonyms
 in 2008. Strikingly,
Further
Linking Words
 study was the most popular choice of
activities
Fix the agreement mistake
activity
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 among
students
Use synonyms
, compared to the least
popularity
Replace the word
popular
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 of Voluntary
Work
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. Regarding
graduate
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
, the highest number
belong
Change the verb form
belongs
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 to
Further
Linking Words
 study, at 29665
while
Linking Words
 Voluntary
work
Use synonyms
 reported the lowest date in the total choices of them, at only 3500
students
Use synonyms
. The number of
students
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 who chose
Part time
Add a hyphen
Part-time
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 Job was higher than the figure for Unemployment, with nearly 18000 and over 16000
students
Use synonyms
, respectively. For
post
Correct your spelling
most
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students
Use synonyms
 in the same year,
Further
Linking Words
 study
also
Linking Words
 headed the list with 2725
students
Use synonyms
, closely followed by Part time
Work
Use synonyms
 with over 2500 choices.
While
Linking Words
 there were approximately 1700 post
Use synonyms
graduate
Fix the agreement mistake
graduates
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 who choose Unemployment, only 345
students
Use synonyms
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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decided to become volunteers.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduate, work, students with synonyms.
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