It is too expensive to look after and repair old buildings. This money should spend on building modern buildings instead

5.5 / 9

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Introduction

It is said that

government

Suggestion

the government

has been spending a huge amount of money on preserving historical buildings, it should be

otherwise

Linking Words

spent on the construction of new ones.

However

Linking Words

, from my perspective, I totally disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea because historical architectures are not only the symbol of the national tradition but

also

Linking Words

tourist attractions.

Body paragraph 1

Although

Linking Words

, repairing and maintaining the ancient structures is expensive, it is important to preserve them because they hold historic importance. When visiting these buildings, people are able to understand the origins of the nations' customs, cultures and human civilization. Without maintaining ancient constructions, these valuable information will be lost.

For example

Linking Words

, individuals can learn a plethora

lessons

Suggestion

lesson

about government system and works of art in

Linking Words

last decade

Suggestion

the last decade

when they come to Hue Palace, which is the only architecture still exist after World Wars II in Vietnam. If it is damaged, future generation will be clueless about the past.

Body paragraph 2

In addition

Linking Words

, preserving old constructions is needed because they promote the economic growth as they attract a lot of tourists.

Consequently

Linking Words

, there are more guiding jobs for local

residents which

Accept comma addition

residents, which

help native people with financial problems. For instant, thousands of foreigners visit Hue Palace to have more knowledge about Vietnam’s history. The money gained from them contributes to the development of local tourism businesses. So that Vietnamese government spends millions every year on keeping

this

Linking Words

attraction in good quality

Conclusion

In conclusion, because old buildings hold valuable historic importance and promote economic growth, they are deserved for the governors

to spend

Suggestion

spend

money on.

Feb 26, 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.5

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cost
money
spend
budget
save
invest
build
new
old
modern
repair
maintain
fix
upkeep
safety
risk
heritage
culture
history
identity
tourism
value
benefit
costs
long-term
short-term
demolish
reuse
renovate
upgrade
energy
efficiency
eco
policy
plan
decision
balance
priority
funding
grants
tax
public
private
contractor
architect
city
community

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