IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance.

#organisations #employees #dress #value #quality #work #appearance
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There are companies in the corporate
sector which
Accept comma addition
sector, which
 believe that the
employee
Use synonyms
's
appearence
outward or visible aspect of a person or thing
appearance
 at
work
Use synonyms
 is of great concern. While there are other companies which believe that
employee
Use synonyms
's
work
Use synonyms
 is what matters the most irrespective of its dressing. I am surely in
favor
promote over another
favour
 of the opinion of prioritising
work
Use synonyms
 over dressing. Below, I will discuss in length why I am in
favor
promote over another
favour
 of
this
Linking Words
 opinion. The way a person dresses either in
corporate world
Suggestion
the corporate world
 or in personal life should be his or her choice. No company should force his
employee
Use synonyms
 to come dressed up. There are some people who like to get dressed up and do things.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the majority of the people feel
confortable
providing or experiencing physical well-being or relief
comfortable
 in casual clothes and for them dressing up is
an
Suggestion
a
 hectic task. If one is not comfortable in what he or she in wearing
then
Linking Words
 how can we expect high
effeciency
the ratio of the output to the input of any system
efficiency
efficiencies
 from them. Let's take the example of a corporate giant Mark Zickerburg, CEO of
facebook
Suggestion
Facebook
. We all have seen him multiple times attending meetings with various heads of states and with top management of multiple tech companies. He always wears simple
geans
(usually plural) close-fitting trousers of heavy denim for manual work or casual wear
jeans
guns
genius
 and
t-shirt
a close-fitting pullover shirt
T-shirt
. He is a man who is earning billions from his
work
Use synonyms
. He is a smart guy. He has worked hard to get here. If we started to focus on man's
appearence
outward or visible aspect of a person or thing
appearance
 than his
effeciency
the ratio of the output to the input of any system
efficiency
 than we will
loose
fail to keep or to maintain; cease to have, either physically or in an abstract sense
lose
 many brilliant minds.
Last
Linking Words
 month I read an article about
work
Use synonyms
 culture at Google. I was surprised to see that google prioritises
work
Use synonyms
 not only over dressing but above everything. The employees are allowed to wear casuals, to
brings
Suggestion
bring
 bikes
on
Suggestion
at
to
work
Use synonyms
 and to play games. All these things to support the morale of the
employee
Use synonyms
. A conducted in 1985 shows that people who wear casual clothes at
work
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 perform better than people who come dressed up. Adding to
this
Linking Words
, I must state that the choice of clothing must be made by the
employee
Use synonyms
 considering the guidelines provided by the employer, and, most importantly the
employee
Use synonyms
 must not
abouse
treat badly
abuse
this
Linking Words
privilage
a special advantage or immunity or benefit not enjoyed by all
privilege
privileges
 in any manner.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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