Some people believe that time spent on electronic games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #time #games #children #effects #child

Few people believe that the amount of

time

children

invest

Suggestion

invests

in playing electronic games is valuable

Accept space

while some peoples trust that it really has a bad

impact

on a

child

too.In my opinion the children are wasting their precious

time

if they are getting used to it on a regular basis and it

also

leaves a bad

impact

on their well being as well. In the present world the children spend most of their free

time

in front of

computers mobiles

Suggestion

computers, mobiles

and electronic gadgets rather than going out there under the sun to get involved in physical

activites

any specific behavior

activities

and sports which helps them being fit in a longer run. The only stress buster after hours of lectures they would have had since morning is the free

time

they get in the evenings which they despite

choose

Suggestion

choosing

to spend being all alone in front of these gadgets rather one has to go out there and get social with the children of their age so that they can involve in some of the things which keep them fit. The

impact

which these leaves on children in

future

Suggestion

the future

might be far more intense.One gets deprived of the social network and get used to being all

alone which

Accept comma addition

alone, which

does not serve good in the long run.

Infact investing

Accept comma addition

In fact, investing

In fact investing

long hours in front of them can lead to a

child

having problems with his eye which is really not appreciated.

Although

there are some feeble chances that a

child

can attain great heights if he/she chooses to make a living out of it by becoming a

proffessional

engaged in a profession or engaging in as a profession or means of livelihood

professional

gamer it has lead to more negative

impact

rather than positive ones.

Overall if

Accept comma addition

Overall, if

child

is deprived from getting used to those new technologies he/she will have an amazing future

Suggestion

in terms of health if not being actually successful in

life but

Accept comma addition

life, but

who knows the same amount of

time

they may invest in developing their career perspectives and achieve a great

feet

Suggestion

foot

Fri Feb 28 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

325 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that time spent on electronic games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Finding it hard to remember important fact and figures? Improve your memory in 10 weeks with our Memory Course. Places are limited and the course is available for only a short time.

Many people believe thet media coverage of celebrities is having a negative effect on children.To what extent do you agree or disagree with this oppoinion?

Nowaday, it is common to have marriage and children in their thirties rather than in younger age. What is cause behind this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

18.Some people say that all young people should be required to stay in full-time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?