Some people believe that time spent on electronic games can be valuable for children. Others believe this has negative effects on a child. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Few people believe that the amount of
time
children
invest
Suggestion
invests
in playing electronic games is valuable
,
Accept space
,
while some peoples trust that it really has a bad
impact
on a
child
too.In my opinion the children are wasting their precious
time
if they are getting used to it on a regular basis and it
also
leaves a bad
impact
on their well being as well. In the present world the children spend most of their free
time
in front of
computers mobiles
Suggestion
computers, mobiles
and electronic gadgets rather than going out there under the sun to get involved in physical
activites
any specific behavior
activities
and sports which helps them being fit in a longer run. The only stress buster after hours of lectures they would have had since morning is the free
time
they get in the evenings which they despite
choose
Suggestion
choosing
to spend being all alone in front of these gadgets rather one has to go out there and get social with the children of their age so that they can involve in some of the things which keep them fit. The
impact
which these leaves on children in
future
Suggestion
the future
might be far more intense.One gets deprived of the social network and get used to being all
alone which
Accept comma addition
alone, which
does not serve good in the long run.
Infact investing
Accept comma addition
In fact, investing
In fact investing
long hours in front of them can lead to a
child
having problems with his eye which is really not appreciated.
Although
there are some feeble chances that a
child
can attain great heights if he/she chooses to make a living out of it by becoming a
proffessional
engaged in a profession or engaging in as a profession or means of livelihood
professional
gamer it has lead to more negative
impact
rather than positive ones.
Overall if
Accept comma addition
Overall, if
a
child
is deprived from getting used to those new technologies he/she will have an amazing future
a
Suggestion
an
in terms of health if not being actually successful in
life but
Accept comma addition
life, but
who knows the same amount of
time
they may invest in developing their career perspectives and achieve a great
feet
Suggestion
foot
.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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