IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days, most of the people tend to stretch their working hours because either the employer demands to do so or they do it to earn overtime pay, leaving hardly any
time
Use synonyms
 for leisure activities. While they think it increases their
productivity
Use synonyms
, I believe that it has a detrimental impact on both
employee’s
Suggestion
employee
productivity
Use synonyms
 and their
health
Use synonyms
. Because of the growing competition, some employers ask their employees to
work
Use synonyms
 overtime in order to increase the
productivity
Use synonyms
 of their company.
However
Linking Words
, longer working hours for several weeks, makes the employees tired and less motivated to
work
Use synonyms
. Both our body and our mind
needs
Suggestion
need
 to be regularly rejuvenated, and spending some leisure
time
Use synonyms
 playing a sport, pursue their hobbies or simply relax with their families helps them to do so. If they are unable to do these activities, they are less focused and do not enjoy their
work
Use synonyms
, which ultimately reduces their
productivity
Use synonyms
. Another point to consider is the overall
health
Use synonyms
 and well being of the employees. When they
work
Use synonyms
 for longer hours and do not spend
time
Use synonyms
 to relax or to do what makes them happy it increases their stress level. People should get some free
time
Use synonyms
 to relax with friends and family and
also
Linking Words
 to pursue their hobbies so that they are happy and motivated. Scientific studies have
proved
Suggestion
proven
 that stress is a major contributing factor to most of the
health
Use synonyms
 issues. In conclusion, I believe that longer working hours have negative consequences on people’s
health
Use synonyms
 as well as the
Use synonyms
productivity whereas
Accept comma addition
productivity, whereas
 spending
time
Use synonyms
 on leisure activities
such
Linking Words
 as playing sports or going out with family keeps people happy, motivated and more productive.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: